Win the Battle Against Words That Hurt
“Being hurt by someone you truly care about leaves a hole in your heart that only love can fill.” is an anonymous quote. The accumulation of words that hurt can destroy your ego and break your heart. The words do not even have to come from someone you care about, maybe someone you barely know. Surrounding yourself with those who love you is important and may make the sting of the words less traumatic..
Cruel words that sting often happen in a school situation. Kids may be too smart, or too dumb, or too skinny or too fat or maybe dress funny, and become targets for words that hurt. Even teachers sometimes use hurtful words to students without thinking of how the words might affect them. Reaction to cruel words depends on the level of a person’s self-esteem, based on upbringing and life experiences, There are times that situations may escalate.
An incident occurred in a high school in Oklahoma City in 2008 when a cheer coach/teacher picked on a female student in class. When a friend of the girl’s mother learned of the incident, she tasered the coach in the parking lot and received a 5-year prison sentence. In another incident, quite some time ago, a high school girl used cruel words toward another girl, and the situation ended in violence. The story was made into a movie entitled “A Friend to Die For.”
These stories show that words that hurt can be a small speck on the horizon or can build to become as strong as a windstorm in our lives, tossing us around, eating at our very being, and making us want to die. It may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back on someone with low self-esteem and an overabundance of stress. Anxiety, depression, repressed anger; the use of drugs and alcohol, and even violence may result from verbal abuse.
If cruel words hurt because of low self –esteem, and partly because we do not know how to respond, what can we do? We must learn to surround ourselves with a good support group, be involved in church and other activities; and, at school, get involved in clubs and athletics or volunteerism, Nourish your ego like a newly planted tree and watch it grow tall and expand into numerous branches that can crush the words of an abuser.
Low self -esteem remains a problem for many people who use cruel words. Ironically, they make up for it by putting others down, so they tower over them with power and control. Walk away from the person who utters cruel words or respond with humor. On the other hand, you might confront and say, “I like to dress like this.” The “ I” word is powerful. Report the incident if serious bullying occurs. Use careful judgment and only do what makes you feel comfortable. A young boy confronted two little girls on the playground who were using cruel words toward his sister and told them to leave her alone, thus ending the cruel talk. If you do something, rather than nothing, you control your own destiny.
