The world is an extremely competitive place. When others perceive that you have achieved the success that has eluded them, they will feel like they have been beaten in a race. Very few people like to lose or can even do it graciously. Consequently, people who believe that you have succeeded, and they have failed will build resentment toward you. Here are 7 things that feed into this equation to make it tough to keep your old friends that knew you before your success arrived and avoid having others hate you.
New friends push out old friends in the competition for your time.
This may not technically be true in all cases, but old friends will notice when you are not around as much. Your new friends come from 2 sources. They helped you get your career on track by showing you how to get it done. This means for you to achieve and maintain success, you need these people in your life. They also will need more than just a moment here and a moment there. Having to spend so much time working to get and stay successful will naturally take time away from old friendships.
With success itself comes new friends. The success will have elevated your earnings, your influence, your worth to current society, and fame. All of these conspire against your old friends. However, more new friends will show up who may not have the relational quality of the old friends, but they are drawn to your new status. It is easy to enjoy the new found social level, and for a time at least newly successful people will feed off of this environment to build up their ego. In any event, old friends usually lose in this equation.
Sometimes, the old friends were a barrier to your success.
Unfortunately, not all friends whether or not they are old friends are good for your future advancement. There are times when you have to let old contacts go because they were dead ends on your path to success. When old friends perceive that they have been dumped, they will dislike you for it. This is a rift that can seldom be mended for mutual satisfaction. You will have to just give your apologies and move on with your life.
There are people in the world who just do not like it when others look like they have made it.
This is not strickly about competition. Some people have their heads wired to resent successful people. It is not a personal thing with you, they hate everyone who is successful. One some level these people believe that in order to become successful you must have sold your soul to the devil. This will cause them to view your success as a huge moral failure. To them money, fame, and power are all signs of an evil world and evil people.
People will hate you for achieving success because they did not make it themselves.
For some reason, certain people will view your success as meaning that you got their spot on the success roster. The reality is that anyone who really applies themselves can reach a measure of success. The problem is that it is not all talent, connections, or drive. It requires a combination of these to manage to succeed. If any of these are in short supply, the individual may not rise to be a superstar in their field.
There are many very successful people who never achieve widespread fame, but they still can be considered a success in their field. The scientist who helped put a man on the moon is a success even if the scientist never go to go there. It still would not have happened without the work of the scientist.
Some will hate those who succeed because they believe making you look smaller will make them seem larger.
By making light of the person and the success, people will try to steal some of your glory. Telling others why your success will be short-lived and is not very praiseworthy is their attempt to erode your success or keep you from rising higher. The fact is that by doing so, it will usually benefit the successful one and harm the complainer. Often a measure of this is seen in the rebuttal of presidential speeches and in the rants of television personalities trying to ride the coat tails of important people.
Successful people are often resented because they do not always reach back and help others to their level.
Not all successful people are in a position to make other successful. This is not clearly understood by those who watched them succeed. “I will remember you when I make it to the top.” Most successful people would be wise to not use this phrase too often or too lightly. Those who hear it will take it as a contracted promise. When the successful person does not honor it or seems not to honor, hate will show up soon enough.
People hate successful people because they are not happy with themselves and choose to blame others.
No ones success keeps others from succeeding if they choose to go after it. In fact, most of the time as some succeed, it makes more room for others on the way up. It also establishes a career path that another might be able to follow to get to the same place. The measure of success sometimes get blurred in the minds of people. For some, fame without wealth is a failure. For others, the opposite stands true. Still others, believe that power is the key ingredient to success. Somewhere along the way happiness needs to be the main goal. Many people who are viewed as successful never achieve happiness. Many who never really seem to succeed are quite happy. Success should ultimately be measured by contentment and financial stability.
