Suicide- Why would someone want to end their own life? It is not confusing or scary. It is very simple why someone would want to end life. Finding out that someone is suicidal is scary, for you and for them. This is out of personal experience being in both situations.
The most important thing to know and remember is that they are still alive, there is still a chance at life. This is something to relieve you, and motivate the person. The goal now is to figure out why, without asking too many questions. Listen, and do not give advice. Advice stimulates and can make the problem worsen. There are endless possibilities that could have led them to this point. Just because something may not be a good enough reason for you to die, it may be too much for someone else. Stress is the main key.
Stress is what triggers a certain person to reach the peak of feeling suicidal. Too much school, work, relationships, social life, lifestyle, environment, etc. Anything can make someone stressful, and certain things effect certain people very severely.
So to simply understand one individual, ask them, “What are you stressed about?” Simple question. Just listen. Usually the order in which they say them will probably be the most stressful to the least. When the person thinks of this question, they think of certain things first.
You are starting to understand from their point of view. The most comforting thing to hear when I was suicidal was “I will be with you when you are ready to make a decision.” Every second the person spends with the suicidal individual is another second of their life they are saving.
Now, instead of giving advice on their problems. Ask them, “What do you think would help clear some of this stress.” Obviously, they say suicide will clear it and it will relieve all the pain. But if you wait and just listen, they may start thinking of a specific, which really may not be hard. They already have a support system, you. Support is the greatest tool to help, and the more support they have, the better. So that can lead to another simple question, “Who do you think would be most helpful to you right now?”
By this point in time, you understand what stress has caused this state of mind, possible ideas of clearing the stress, and a support system(even if that is only you). You have already saved their life for at least 20 minutes or more if it were going at “my” pace.
The hardest part is creating a bond to know that the person can trust you, and that you can trust them (not to hurt nor kill them-self). This bond can only be created with time and patience, mostly just listening and helping their ideas and options. There will be a point in time when they feel a difference of some kind, even if its just a while. This is the time to escort or stay with them somewhere safe. Sleep is the best way to make it to tomorrow.
This reference of a story may help you understand some of the understandings but not the specifics, because everyone has a different reason. As said, it will be stress related. No one can truly understand suicide until they are a part of it, being the one in need, or being a support.
Suicide is serious, and it is fact that the people who talk about it are the individuals who are most likely to do it. Life can be anything we want, it can change at anytime on us, and we can change it to what we want. Your time in learning or experiencing a situation similar, is more time that the person will have to live.
It is a very scary state of mind to be in, and also scarey for anyone that witnesses any part of it. Understand that it is reality, and you can make a difference.
Thank you for reading this, and I really hope it helps you understand any part of it, because knowing anything about it is a tool to save a life.
“This is written because of what I am personally going through, and last week I wished my life to end. Today I am trying to find a change, and I have a support system, but it is still very hard. You are helping me by reading this, Thank You.”
