Dreams. Some say they’re a window into our subconscious desires, other say they’re premonitions of our destiny, still others claim they’re nothing more than random images that our brain pieces together as best it can, and a few insist they’re created by alien beings in an attempt to confuse us (but those people are insane, so we ignore them). Regardless of what causes dreams, there has always been a great desire to try and decode our subconscious nocturnal visions.
Dream interpretation is a $12 million a year industry (that figure may not be real, it came to me in a dream), and has been steadily on the rise for the last two decades (probably). Opponents of the practice of “dream-reading” claim it’s a “waste of time” and a bunch of “new age poppycock” (those quotes are completely fabricated). But for those of you looking to get your engine running down the road to frantic and obsessive dream analysis, here are a few examples of successful decoding to get you started.
Example #1:
Dream You’re laying on your bed, but your mattress is actually made of compressed sawdust. You turn your head to look at your spouse, but find a bowl of custard in their place. You open your mouth to scream, but all that comes out is your drunken rendition of Paul Simon’s “Graceland”.
Interpretation The bed of sawdust clearly represents instability and uncertainty in your love life. The bowl of custard is a sign of stagnation, and “Graceland” represents your closet obsession with Paul Simon.
Example #2:
Dream You’re being chased through Cheyenne by the original cast of “Hairspray”
Interpretation You are obviously bothered by your inability to gauge your social standing in today’s society. While you shun the Wall Street “fat cats” for their abhorrent materialism, you secretly desire your own villa on the Riviera. Your internal struggle for socio-economic peace will soon manifest itself in your cooking, and must be addressed immediately to prevent any collapsed souffls.
Example #3:
Dream You have a recurring dream of your ex-wife beating you over the head with the replica Star Wars lightsaber you pawned your wedding ring to purchase.
Interpretation This dream signifies nothing. Stop obsessing and go back to sleep.
As you can see, the world of dream interpretation is a wide and mystical one filled with complete BS. Hopefully this guide has whetted your appetite enough to go out and possibly read a reputable source on this fad.
