You can do this. Right now, before you do anything else, stop and take a slow breath. Just pause. Now, the very next thing that you need to do in the search for a good psychiatrist is to treat your problem and yourself with the same respect and care that you would if the issue were cancer, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, glaucoma, hydrocephalus, hearing loss, broken leg or heart attack. Each and every one of those would yield the quizzical but well intentioned “woah – can, can I help at all?”. Okay, not the heart attack or broken bone such as comminuted fracture – those would warrant “CALL 911!” – or at the very least “Honey, get the car! Shhh…. Mr. Jones and I are taking you to the doctor. Yes, your mommy will meet us there.”
As a matter of fact, treat yourself and your mental health with the same dignity and DILIGENCE that you would if you were doing so for a dear friend.
*NOTE*! It should go without saying that if you are experiencing a psychiatric emergency – such as feeling suicidal – YOU TOO SHOULD DIAL 911! IMMEDIATELY!*
Now onto the pragmatics. You really don’t want to just open up the Yellow Pages and look under Psychiatry. Then again – why not? This CAN be a component of the process, but your research – and that is what this is initially – must be thorough and multi-tiered. Oye! No pun intended there, believe me!
You can also try going to ask.com and typing (without quotes) How do I find a good psychiatrist? You will find that once you start typing it – the full question may appear anyway. There are all kinds of links that pop up from that query – including healthgrades.com, RevolutionHealth.com, and www.mindspring.com just to name three.
Actually, the first contact I would make, whether your HMO insists upon it anyway or not!, is to your primary care physician. And if you are at all reluctant to bring this sort of MEDICAL problem (and THAT’S what it is!) to her/his attention, then I would ask yourself two questions straight away: “Why not?” and “Do I need a new PCP?!”
‘Cause if you cannot tell your own doctor about a problem that is *NOT* your fault, how in the world are you going to be able to report that you’re smoking again, or that you didn’t know what to do with all the leftover Halloween candy and thus your blood sugar has been over 200 every day for the past week, and over the last two, you’ve gained 6 pounds that you’re better off without?
I am not juxtaposing those things on a fault/no fault continuum. I am instead REALLY trying to emphasize that reporting that you’re feeling anxious or depressed, or even other more serious and/or “stigmatized” symptomology for which one would seek the help of a psychiatrist, should be no more shameful or embarrassing than to admit the aforementioned weaknesses or indulgences, the culpability for which one should be held to with only the most sympathetic understanding, and maybe a little tough-love. And you should feel *no* shame or embarrassment whatsoever for asking for help dealing with something as serious and important as your mental health.
NONE.
I am very tempted to end the article now and let the patient/consumer fill in the blanks from here, because I feel very strongly that it should be absolutely commonplace for the best health advice (physical AND mental) and referral information to be available from your doctor. But, in the name of supporting SOME personal responsibility – and in empowering yourself even before you consult your doctor, take some portable notes. And USE THEM during your visit!
First, even if you have to do this in script or dialogue – write down what you want to tell your doctor about what is causing you to seek help. Yes – I mean even put quotation marks down and read the question verbatim from capital letter to period! Do not be afraid. Do not be shy. Do not be embarrassed. Do not be intimidated. You deserve to seek and find help and are worthy of being rid of the feelings that would cause you to blanch at the notion of saying your issues out loud and clear.
T – a – k – e y – o – u – r t – i – m – e ! ! ! Do NOT be rushed. A heart surgeon wouldn’t close up his quadrupal bypass before his work was done just because the next surgery is scheduled to start! You should not feel guilty about taking the time to get things right, either. This is YOUR health and happiness!
When your doctor provides you with the information you seek and the answers to your questions (and yes – s/he should have some for you), again, DO NOT be reluctant to ask him or her to slow down (’cause you are writing notes during your visit!), or to repeat or clarify. They should be willing to be writing their info down too – because it is medical advice and as such is part of treatment. TAKE THE TIME TO GET IT RIGHT. You DO deserve the time and effort it takes.
Again – it is YOUR health and YOUR happiness. You are certainly worth the time and effort to nurture both.
