If love is a pie, then romantic love is a slice. Love is an encompassing and generic form. You can love a thing, individuals, groups or God. Romantic love is a bit more specific. It includes attraction and mutual sharing as prerequisites. Romantic love involves an attraction dynamic between human beings (assuming some degree of normalcy).
In the philosophy of love, there are three broad types of love. Eros, the root word of erotica, has a more innocent meaning. It was meant to indicate an intense yearning or desire for another. Philia is the type of love that we experience with friends and family. Philia underscores social bonds. Agape is the general form of love; for God or mankind.
Using the philosophy of love as a premise, romantic love exists as a form of eros. We feel as though we are on a high- an emotional high that is induced by mood-boosting chemicals. The intense yearning is exhibited by the desire to increase contact with another; whether through verbal or non-verbal communication.
On a macro level, it is easy to discern the difference between romantic love and broader, less-intense forms. However, romantic love can also be contrasted with other forms of love between two partners. According to Robert Sternberg’ very useful classification of love; there are several types of love that can exist between two people.
Romantic love can be compared with true love. People can feel romantic love several times in their lives. True love can be felt more than once, but it often occurs less frequently. That is because the commitment factor makes true love inherently less ephemeral. Romantic love emphasises passion and intimacy with lower emphasis on commitment.
In any event, true love would normally start with some attraction in the early stages and develop into true love over time. That information is hardly news anymore. Yet, it is easy to confuse romantic love with true love because we are literally high on love. The intense feelings give us such a boost that we believe it is the end of the love journey, instead of the first step or stage.
Romantic love can be compared with other forms of intimate love in Sternberg’s classification. For example, blind love has everything else but intimacy. Lust involves passion with minimal intimacy or commitment. This does not make it any easier to differentiate in practice, because the hormones and chemicals that love in general produces have an effect on us.
We are wired to discriminate- in terms of our mental and emotional responses- to different people based on the type and degree of love. Romantic love may not be the ultimate form of love, but it is a more potent form. Romantic love can be seen as just one of many forms of love- a subset of love even. It can be stacked up against the broader manifestations of love or be viewed in the context of pair bonding.
Romantic love is a critical aspect of love because it can lead to true love. As a form of love that involves intimacy and passion- it involves development of a close friendship (extrapolated from Philia). Romantic love and love are inextricably related concepts, but the former is a singular concept. Linguistically and practically, love remains a plural word that bears manifestations along a continuum.
