I have been both victim and survivor in life and as I’ve grown older I see the main differences and generally able to avoid “victimhood”. When I learned about the Law of Attraction a few years ago I could not imagine that I had attracted things like a parent’s death, a supervisor who was trying to drive me out of the company I had worked for 6 years, etc. When I really considered what I was thinking about at those times I’m not saying I caused a death or conflicts with a supervisor, but I got what I was very fearful of and thinking about. Although I now am more aware of my thoughts and able to redirect them, it does not mean nothing bad will ever happen. When it does, other strategies come into play. Specific ways of surviving negative events and occurrences are listed here.
1. Speak up, communicate and ask for help. True victims often don’t do this, they try to deny what is occuring or are getting something out of being a victim whether it is attention, or being right about how awful someone or something is to them. Asking for assistance is a sign that you want to survive not wallow in self-pity and is far from a sign of weakness.
2. Reach for relief, or the best feeling thoughts you can about the situation where think you are, or could be, a victim. Hope that grief will pass is a better thought than “I can’t stand this grief”, being angry at the jerk at work is better than “there’s nothing I can do”. A happy memory and the faith that a loved one is out of pain feels better than “what am I going to do without him/her?” The statement “it will feel good when I figure out how to deal with my supervisor” is relieving compared to “I don’t know what to do and no one can help me.”
3. There are positives in every situation. I recently had shoulder surgery and the rehabilitation has been slower than I thought and very painful. There have been times when I’ve been a victim of it for sure. However, my main work right now is a a physical therapist and not only have I learned new treatment methods and procedures, but I have a totally new perspective on what my clients go through-not only how legitimate their complaints are but the courage and resilience they display getting back into life and work afterward.
4. If you have a lot of fear of or about something, do something to handle that fear. Women who are fearful of attack can take a self defense class. People who are fearful of speaking in public can take a speech class or join Toastmasters to gain courage and power. The fear will not dissipate but you will empower yourself and know some actions to take.
5. Looking at all occurences in life as opportunities keeps us from focusing blame on others and ourselves. Although certainly in some circumstances there is a clear evil deed done that can somehow be used for good in this world and some postive aspect that you can find. Blame always creates victims.
