I am not phobic to the point that it effects my whole persona but as many others do, I struggle with my phobias. Perhaps, the things that drive me nuts aren’t as strange compared to others but still, they give me the creeps. To me, a phobia is something that I just can not get over. In these cases, it couldn’t be closer to the truth.
As long as I can remember, I have had a strong distaste towards tightie whities. For those who don’t know what those are- they are men’s underwear. The mental image is enough to drive me into convulsions. I can not stand the thought of plain white underwear crushing a man’s genitalia. It is disgusting and far from attractive.
I am not sure when I developed such hate for this type of under garment but it is there. I can’t even look at a pair without getting nauseous. No man in my life wears anything but boxers. I couldn’t handle putting those nasty looking things in the washing machine. I am convinced it would drive me over the edge.
A natural human function is spit, yet it drives me insane. I can not stand it any form. I hate saliva and slobber it disgusts me. The sounds that people make before they spit are even worse. Just the thought of it gives me chills. Of all the wonderful things a human body can do, I do not understand why anyone would choose to spit. It’s nasty. My mommy once told me that it is not polite to spit and I believe her.
The last insane phobia I have has been a recent one that sort of rubbed off on me unintentionally. A close friend of mine hates feet. She doesn’t like the way they look, feel, or smell. She doesn’t discriminate, either. She hates human and animal feet. Jokingly, I told my husband that if I had an animal foot, I would mess with her as a prank for April Fool’s Day.
I never thought any more about that comment. One night, I came home from work and my husband went outside and returned with a trash bag. He told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand. Like a goober, I did. In my hand he placed a bloody, slimy deer foot that had freshly been cut off of a deer.
I went insane. It was the grossest thing I had ever touched. The way it felt combined with the smell pushed me over the edge. I began screaming and shaking. It was a horrible experience. I now know to watch what I say around my husband. I also know that I will probably never forgive him for that.
Maybe the day will come that I get over these fears that make me cower. Until that day, I hope I never run across a deer foot that is wearing tightie whities and spitting at me. In that moment, you can stick a fork in me because I promise you, I will be done.
