As trite as it may sound, some people exhibit self destructive behavior because they have self destructive personalities. Many times a person who displays this kind of behavior has deeper emotional issues than others may realize. The parents that raised them, the siblings they grew up with and the relationships that they have been involved in all contribute to creating the person that stands before you today.
People who are self destructive usually feel inferior to others and have low self esteems. For reasons which may be known only to them, they do not feel successful, worthy of being alive and often feel that they are unlovable. Thus, they act out in ways, make choices and do things which prove them right. A self fulfilling prophesy, so to speak.
The self destructive individual will often build themselves up to lofty heights; earning a lot of money, owning expensive items, dating the best looking people, being invited to the most elite parties and generally running with the jet set. Then, when their own self doubt and fears take over they do or say things which in turn, cause them to lose it all. Why would anyone do this?
To understand that we would need to understand the particular individual. There are countless reasons why someone ends up having a self destructive personality. Many possible causes, but the outcome is the same. They all sabotage themselves in some way. It could be deliberate or it could be unconsciously. Nevertheless they grab that exact jenga block that causes the whole shebang to come crashing down around them.
People who are perfectly aware of what they are doing and the self destructive behavior often say, “I ruined it before ______ could have the chance.” In other words, he or she beat others to the punch. The self destructive individual is so sure that the outcome will be bad, that they sometimes make the choice to at least have the power of bringing the end about. This makes them not feel so helpless and as if they are at the mercy of others.
In the majority of cases where someone is extremely self destructive, a look into their past may show abuse of some type. It could have been sexual, physical or emotional. The thing is, at one time someone somewhere had ultimate power over the individual and made them feel as if they were not worthy of happiness.
