“How come I always get the raw end of the deal?”
“Why does everything always happen to me?”
“Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?”
This, in effect, is how the whiner personality sees his or her, interactions with people in their lives. No matter what you may do to try and please them, nothing is ever enough, and if there was some satisfaction on their part, it would only be temporary. This can be very frustrating to us, and can also lead to our own anger towards the whining personaliity type. They are like a glass of water that can never be filled no matter how much you keep pouring from the jug.
A whiner personality can test your patience on a daily basis and can make you want to just give up on them because their needs can seem to never be satisfied by you. It can lead to feelings of helplessness for us. However, dealing with a whiner personality can be dealt with so that you don’t lose your own mind, and it doesn’t have to take a whole lot out of you.
An important thing to remember about the whiner personality is that they are a very insecure person deep down inside, and whining is a way for them to get all the attention that they so desperately crave. Once we understand that about them, we can more easily deal with them without much undue suffering on our part. A whiner personality does not want to feel invisible, yet, does not know how to prevent it.So how do we fill those needs for them?
A crucial step to make people feel important and secure in their own abilities, thus enabling them to get their physocological fill, is to always ask for their opinions on matters that may or may not concern them. Remember, just because you ask for someone’s opinion doesn’t mean you have to act on them. However, when you involve another person in decision making, it fills their insecurities. It makes them also feel that you regard them highly, and are thinking of them. They feel noticed and this makes them feel important. This satisfies their cravings for attention and will downplay their whining. Please note that this is temporary and needs continued work on your part, but it will make life more bearable for you in dealing with the whiner personality.
