A universe by any other name
Man may be fascinated by the universe, but the thing that fascinates me is that our universe has no name. If our universe was to have a name, what would it be? We’ve named everything from the Milky Way (a prosaic name at best), stars –like our sun – Sol, planets, moons (moon names), asteroids, comets, and even lumps of cold rock beyond Pluto. Surely we will discover another universe and will have to differentiate between us and them with names, rather than boring catalogue numbers. So what kind of names would the universe have?
The universe is a hypersphere; what the sphere is to a circle, a whole other dimension. Are all other universes like ours? Are they flat or saddle-shaped, curved or round or blob-like? Are they balanced and static, or closed and finite ready to collapse, or open and infinitely expanding forever? Have their inhabitants named their universe or are they wondering like us humans why we are here? Should we humans, since we seem to be the only ones here, name our universe after ourselves: The Anthroverse? If we’re arrogant enough to think we are the only life in our universe then we may as well cement that view and name the whole she(big)bang after ourselves.
We should have a name fitting the character of the universe. Our Earth has often been alternatively named Gaia. If the Sol system begat Gaia, and if the Milky Way begat Sol then who begat the Milky Way and its brothers and sisters (whether or not our galaxy is male or female, of course)? Chaos was the mother of Gaia, but such a name would not do for us. Our universe has a strange disproportionate spattering of matter in that only five percent is normal matter and the rest dark matter and dark energy. Since we are made of the normal matter, the universe could be called Matteria, to honour this unique composition of our universe.
Maybe there should be a global contest to name our universe taking it out of the hands of scientists who would plumb for a generic number. With six billion of us in this world someone would come up with a fitting name. An obscure name from a mythological time might be desirable as it is already in use for planets, stars, and galaxies. But are there nomenclatures for universes? Is cosmos already a name? Is Heaven an apt title? If we are a holographic projection on the edge of a higher plane then are we in the Holoversia? Let the contest begin.
Why does our universe have no name after 13 billion years? Whether a single universe or part of a multiverse, hyperverse, bubble universe, etc, we still need a name. When these other universes are discovered we will not be the centre of them, we won’t be the oldest of them, nor the best, nor the brightest. We will need to distinguish ourselves from the others and no number will do. We won’t be Universe Prime (as in comic books) or Universe 1, nor 100, nor universe 1 million. Douglas “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” Adams may well have named us Universe 42. Is universe in itself a name? Not really – it’s a designation of a category, like galaxy, star, planet, but they all get to have discrete names. Dispersia (after the Big Bang?), Quintessence? Hubbleverse? Existia?
But would the name of the universe be male or female? This would matter for how could we be taken seriously if we didn’t even know that? We would have to split the difference and go with a gender neutral name so as not to cause offense to the universe and fellow humans. Does it matter if the universe has no name? If we meet other beings from our universe would they have named it already? Would they agree with our name and we with theirs? Is the universe a possession that can be named or is worth naming or is it too grand and unique to have a name? We humans are built to name and describe things; it defines us. How can we not name the universe? Quantuma? Newton-Einstein? Chronos? We can go on.
When we are visited by extra-universal beings, we should welcome them: Welcome to Earth, 3rd from Sol, in the Orion Arm of the Milky Way, not far from Andromeda in the universe of …erm. Exactly – Not a fitting welcome and we would probably be seen as the primitive beings we are for naming our universe. And we couldn’t blame them. So, think of a fitting name for our venerable 13.7 billion year-old universe and let’s become more aware and appreciative of our fascinating universe.
