Romantic love arouses our total being but mainly our senses and heart while love demands our mind and soul. Clarity is not totally clear in love since it is an art as Eric Fromm articulates so well in his book, “The Art of Loving.” Each one of us is the artist and while we all have talent, we need to work in developing our skills in loving. This book shows the way!
Eric Fromm is a psychoanalyst and this book was very popular in the college campuses in the “60′ since most students were familiar with the author in psychology. The sexual revolution was alive and well with many young people on campus and off campus. Fromm published his book in 1956. It was translated in seventeen languages.
He could see the dangers of the direction individuals and societies were going in becoming more and more obsessed with sexuality. Bantam Books published his book and is about 100 pages. People were, are, and will be the same yet every generation thinks they know it all. Fromm reminds all that love goes beyond romantic love to loving self, parents, children, brothers and sisters, humanity, and love for God. This takes maturity, self-knowledge, and courage.
Is Love an Art? He says it is in his first chapter. People are starved for love but most people see it as being loved rather than loving. Several paths are taken mainly by men but today may be women too. One is to be powerful and rich. Another is to make one attractive mainly by women but today this may be for men too.
Love is the answer to human existence is the theory in his second chapter. As human beings we have gone beyond instincts to transcending nature although we never leave it except for paradise. Reason is the path to going forward in harmony and the gift to humanity. How we use this gift of reason is the key to love. While romantic love is a beautiful and enriching experience for all men and women, we need to move beyond it to a love which unites us with our parents, children, humanity, and God.
Love is not just a relationship to a specific person but an attitude and orientation of character determining the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole. Chapter 3 clarifies and unifies how loving oneself, humanity, and God lead to being an artist in loving. Our modern society has deteriorated radically in our ability to love since Fromm wrote this book over a half of century ago.
“Love and Its Disintegration in Contemporary Western Society” is the third chapter and he warned the many generations in the past how culture can afftect the individual in loving and it is more evident today than ever. Fromm gives clear and specific skills to break away from the pseudo-love of our times leading us to the disintegration of love in our individual lives. Capitalism is the name of the game and it not only affects our economics but our love life. Huxley’s “Brave New World” is long past in our times to a world much deeper in consumption in the psyche of a person.
We learn to love by practicing the art of loving which we never master it totally. This is the message of his last chapter but very complex and difficult to do since love is a personal experience which anyone can only have by and for himself. Prescriptions cannot be given even by a great author like Eric Fromm. Yet, it is for this reason why love is not a science but an art.
Eric Fromm is a master in leading each one of us in becoming better lovers in the art of loving. His book sharpens, widens, and perfects our nature to love as human beings. As we move beyond romantic love to the endless possibilities of love, we will find fulfillment in our life and in turn society will change to one which truly loves.
