Insecurity is, quite simply, a feeling of uncertainty or fear. Typically, the term insecurity is used to describe a person who is unsure of their self. This can be true of anybody, at any given time. In some cases, it is a perfectly natural way that your mind is telling you that you really should not do something or that you are incapable of it. In other cases, it is an irrational insecurity, which probably stems from low self-esteem. A lot of the time, people make decisions based on this feeling of uncertainty and, in some cases, people allow that insecurity to affect major decisions that they make in their lives. In this way, insecurity can run your life, in varying degrees. Why do people allow this to happen?
When a person is very insecure in general, they tend to have low self-esteem and they do not put themselves out there, so to speak, in the same way that other people do. Sometimes, the fear, or insecurity, that they feel is unbearable. Therefore, they will go to great lengths to avoid situations that make them feel insecure. They may also avoid doing things that they (possibly irrationally) feel they are incapable of doing. In a way, despite the obvious irrationality of the avoidance, it is actually quite rational, in a way. That person is avoiding pain or fear by avoiding a situation. They may also be stunting their own progress in life by doing so, but in the moment, it probably seems like the best thing to do.
People who do not suffer from constant insecurity, still suffer from it on occasion. We all do. People who only experience it on occasion still react to it in a very similar way to those who are extremely insecure. However, it likely does not affect their life as much. Nonetheless, they still use it in their decision making processes and, in that way, it ‘runs’ their life, if only in a very small way.
It is very easy to convince yourself that it is not worth doing something because of your fear of failure or lack of self-confidence. It is also easy to give into that conviction and avoid doing things that you feel you are incapable of doing. This is, in essence, why we allow our insecurities to ‘run’ our lives. It is not always unavoidable and we can do a lot to boost our self-confidence and therefore, not allow it to affect our decisions. We can also make it a point not to avoid things because of our insecurities.
