I believe every one of us has experienced meeting someone we immediately dislike. As the saying goes, first impressions are lasting ones. In my particular case, I will feel animosity towards anyone who gives me the impression that he or she doesn’t like me. You see, it’s a two-way street.
There are many ways this perception can form in an instant. Some people are just hateful and rude and show no remorse for their actions. If I see some guy yelling and slapping a female companion around, I’m not going to like him; regardless of what the lady has done. Despite our society’s acceptance and dare I say encouragement to belittle smokers at any given opportunity, I won’t become buddies with some whiny anti-tobacco fanatic who starts waving arms about while deliberately coughing the split second I decide to light up a cigarette, either.
Then there are the individuals who attempt to be funny but don’t quite pull it off. What happens instead? They end up insulting the person in a Don Rickles sort of way, even if that wasn’t the intention. These are the types who fail to acknowledge that some of us may be; well, sensitive. Fortunately, these kinds of misunderstandings can easily be remedied. I ended up becoming good friends with such a person many years ago.
With the onset of cyberspace communication, it also becomes easy to dislike someone you will never meet face-to-face. Exchanges of words between members on any number of discussion forums can become quite ugly. Like the Colt 45 pistol of the Old West, the Internet has made everybody in an argument the same size. Opinionated individuals on automotive forums can especially become uncivilized, immature, and brutally unfeeling.
We also have a tendency to have an aversion to anyone who happens to disagree with us. We all want to believe that we are on the right side of a specific issue and are therefore superior to those of the opposite persuasion. In a display of insecurity, we resort by attempting to ridicule our adversaries. Political election campaigns make great use of this tactic.
In other instances, it becomes possible to hold an immediate dislike for another without a single word being spoken. Instead, a facial expression; a rolling of the eyes; a hostile scowl; will say it all. When I was in 7th grade, I was clowning around in Math class by exaggerating a bout of nose-blowing. A girl I was attracted to laughed, so the more she laughed, the more noise I made. Nearly 40 years later, I still shudder when I recall the look that teacher gave me. I can assure you: reprimanding words were unnecessary, and I never so much as sniffled in that classroom again.
At any rate, at one time or another we can all intuitively develop negative perceptions toward the character of another. In my case; however, the other person has to initiate it, for in the beginning, I will give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
