In my live I have belonged to several different social groups. Primarily the four that have had the largest impact on my life would be my family, friends, choir, and religious affiliation. Each one has played a role in the development of my moral beliefs, self worth, and value in life. Without the guidance of these affiliations, who I am as a person, would have been greatly altered.
The first group I have ever belonged to and the most important is that of my family. They would be considered under a primary group classification, as well as a reference group. I use them to evaluate my situation and direct my future paths. Having 3 older sisters, I have always looked to them for guidance. Often this has worked to my advantage by watching them and learning from their mistakes. An example would be my second oldest sister Cassie. When she was 15 she found herself pregnant with a man’s child that she thought she loved. Unfortunately, though they married, he was very irresponsible and could not care for her or their newly born son. I learned at a young age from this to be more cautious myself, and to take things slowly with relationships. I also knew that my sister did not want me to make the same mistakes, so I was always very careful on this aspect of my life. One influence though that caused inner turmoil would be that of the guidelines of my sister Brandi. She always had a very strong resolve to advance in life and not continue in the poverty we were raised up in. As such, she married a rich doctor (that she loved) and always encouraged the same for me. Unfortunately to that resolve however, I fell in love with my husband who though being 5 years older has not made a name for himself yet. My sister was very against it, since it meant my having to work full time and not having someone to provide for me. I always wanted to live up to her standards, but had to follow my heart. No part of my family has ever had a bureaucratic structure since there were not many rules, none written anyways, and certainly no level of replaceability.
The second group I ever belonged to way my religion. Parts of this felt like a primary group, and others were secondary. I had a bible study at home once a week with a family that was intimate friends of the family. The family had 2 boys right around my age and I got along well with them. We also would go out door-to-door on Sundays and had lunch together each week. That aspect felt very close and gave be the sense of belonging. However we also went to the Kingdom Hall (Church) three times a week, where I would just sit in my chair while people conversed around me, occasionally saying hello to be polite. In that atmosphere, I felt horribly out of place and often did not want to stay. The Kingdom Hall was organized similar to a bureaucracy in the way that there were specific ranks, rules, and a division of labor. Each person had their own assigned job and task to perform, and specific Elders (similar to a pastor) had to be met and spoke with regularly. In any case though, since its rules and guidelines is what I grew up with since birth, I owe this organization for much or my moral beliefs.
The next group I belonged to was my friends. This also would be considered a primary group, but would not classify as a reference group and does not have any bureaucratic structure. This group, unlike most was not really developed until my Middle school years. For much of my childhood, I was considered an outcast and did not really have many friends. In fact the only ones I had to play with were my sisters and their friends on occasion. Much of this had to do with not only my religious affiliation, but also my generally weird personality. As any child though, I desperately wanted friends of my own, so when I finally acquired them, they played a large part in my life. I wanted to be accepted, so I changed my personality to fit in with what I thought was considered cool at the time. I failed miserably, and remained an outcast, but there were a few that accepted me for who I was, and I was eternally grateful. After a short while, having this acceptance made me feel more comfortable and confident about whom I was and I began to act more like myself. Shortly after acquiring these new friends, I moved across the state, but was able to apply my new confidence to the school I was attending, and made more friends than ever. During this time in my life, my friends became more influential to my personality then my family or religion, and a large percentage of my time was spent with them. This caused some inner conflict as well, since it was difficult for me to be a good daughter as well as a devoted friend.
The last large group that I felt had a strong affect on me was when I joined the choir. I started choir in my years at Jr. High and continued through to my Sr. year. Since I was not very good at being social, this helped me to feel comfortable around my peers and gave me my first real sense of worth. I had a talent for singing, and I was overwhelmingly happy to be able to help others in my group when they were struggling. Also, since all my sisters had also been in choir, it gave me a high level of satisfaction to know that they would be proud of my accomplishments. Being a class taken at school, certain parts were formulated like a bureaucracy. There were different levels of superiority as well as written guidelines to follow. Also, it was always possible for your part to be replaced if you were not up for the challenge. I would have considered this group as a primary since it gave me more face-to-face interaction then any of my other classes, and I felt as if I was needed to keep the group together and functioning. Even my teachers would have me do projects for them and help students on my lunch break, so I felt I had a sense of purpose in my school life.
All of these groups helped me to develop and grow as a person, and because of them I am who I am today. Sadly, I no longer am a part of either the religious affiliation or my choir group, but their impact will continue to affect my life as it changes. All of these groups will continue to mold my belies and guide my future actions.
