When you are in a relaitonship, it isn’t necessarily the most important thing to be liked by the other person, but it is important that you are comfrotable in the relationship. Sure, you need to be on the same page as your partner when you are in a relationship, but not every day in a relationship is going to be sunshine and roses. There are going to be times when your significant other says something that you take the wrong way, or just seems like they are not interested. That is when you need to be self-reliant and realize that it is OK to not be perfect. If you don’t have this self-confidence, are you going to be able to stay viable in a relationship?
Relationships are not perfect, and you are not perfect. If you can’t see that you have flaws, and just be aware of that fact, then you won’t be doing so well in the relationship department. Just because you have flaws though, it doesn’t mean that you couldn’t still be a great person to be with. You need to be able to just let comments that you don’t like roll off of you, and you need to be able to put things into context. Besides, have you never said anything critical about someone you care about? Were you trying to tell them they were a bad person?
While I realize that words can hurt, it is up to you to realize that you are what you are. If you allow others to say things about you, and you don’t say anything back, then you have just accepted that criticism. You are saying that whatever people are going to say about you is a reflection of you, and that you believe that. If someone calls you lazy, and you don’t say anything back, you have allowed someone to label you as lazy. If you at least take a stand, and contend that you are not lazy, you don’t allow people to label you.
That is something that you need to be in a good relationship, the ability to just allow you to label you. All that you need to do is keep in mind what you think about yourself. I think most of us tend to believe that we are good people, and that we have a lot to offer to the world. I think a lot of us get beaten down by the negative opinions that we hear, or don’t want to work to change anything that might be a true flaw that could be fixed. While I think we should all be happy with what we are, sometimes we all have things that we admit we could work on. Just do your best, and don’t let your flaws define you, or allow others to beat you down mentally with their criticisms.
Chances are that you got into a relationship because you were a confident person who believed in something. There aren’t many people who get into relationships with people who are boring, or just mopey all the time. Just bring out that person that you were when you started dating, and don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough. If someone is with you just to criticize, or tell you how stupid you are, they aren’t really in the relationship because they like you. They probably have bigger flaws than you do, and just need someone else to rag on.
Whenever you are in a relationship, you have to keep a little independence for yourself. Just like any other relationship, you are intertwined with someone, yet you still have to live your life. I don’t know if people were born to eventually be influenced by others, but I think that we were ultimately made to pursue our own dreams. Just keep that in mind next time someone wants to bring you down, and don’t worry about what is good enough for other people.
