HUMOR: Most people are completely unaware when they’re in such poor mental condition that the need to see a psychiatrist. Well, gee, if you break a leg, catch a disease, erupt in boils or find your fingernails falling out, you go see a doctor. Therefore, if you suspect your medical problems are not on the outside of your body, but inside of your head, don’t delay. Here are some of the most serious indications that you need to see a shrink … and fast:
1. Your mother’s damaged car needs fixing, so you look for a repair shop in the Yellow Pages called Oedipus Wrecks.
2. Your inner voices keep telling you to ignore all the outer voices.
3. Your invisible playmate just told you he’s gay.
4. You’re sure everyone hates you, and talking about you behind your back. You’re wrong. They’re doing it to your face.
5. You don’t hate your father; he hates you.
6. Your brain has been donated to the Smithsonian, and must be delivered within seven days.
7. You wonder why there’s a song you can’t get out of your head, until you discover you have an iPod in each ear.
8. You have the urge to practice safe sex … with a safe.
9. You can’t go to a psychiatrist because you think you’re a dog, and not allowed on the couch.
10. You’ve invented a new kind of cool psychiatric music, and you call it Shrink Rap.
