Harsh words can not only destroy any relationship, they can kill. The death of the very talented singer, Karen Carpenter, first came to mind when thinking of how words hurt. Children are vulnerable and believe most everything they hear, even teenagers.
Karen Carpenter believed when cruel classmates called her names and taunted her that she was fat, when in truth she was not overweight at all. She went on a crash diet and began losing weight and in a short period of time became very anorexic. Years of anorexia with extremely low body weight and hospitalizations to try to overcome it took a toll on the singer’s vital organs. Her heart gave out, causing Carpenter’s death at the early age of thirty-two in 1983. One has to wonder if the classmates that ultimately were responsible for her death ever regretted the cruel words they said to her.
Children are vulnerable and often innocent little darlings, but they can also be the cruelest creatures on earth at times. For most of us, the first experience of dealing with cruel words comes in early elementary school from the taunting of classmates. When the one being taunted is an especially sensitive child, those cruel words from classmates can forever shape their lives. They may always see themselves as ugly when they look in a mirror, see themselves as fat, or a number of things they have come to believe which destroys their self esteem.
Teenage suicide is at an all time high and often involves the end of a romantic relationship. One party of the couple cannot emotionally handle the severance or the cruel words spoken when the relationship ended. One teenager’s cruel words many not only lead to the death of another teen, but destroy an entire family as they reel from their loss.
Though death is an extreme example of how cruel words can hurt another, they can and do cause much harm to the person they are spoken to. A child’s self esteem can be forever shattered. A once vibrant and outgoing person may become introverted and withdrawn from society for the rest of their life.
Words spoken in anger and haste can never be taken back once they escape the lips. They can destroy a marriage, friendship, partnership, or family ties. All the apologies in the world cannot make the bitter sting of the words disappear.
A cruel parent can tell a child so many times, “You’ll never amount to anything!”, that the child comes to believe it and never strives to reach their full potential. A parent may never forget and never heal over the words, “I hate you!”, shouted at them by an angry teenager. They may always wonder if the child really loves them. A spouse may never be able to get past the other screaming in anger, “I wish I had never married you!” It may slowly eat away at the relationship.
So many times those words spoken in anger during an argument are not even meant but the effect is the same. Once spoken, they hang in the air and the mind like poison.
We should all strive to guard what we say and the manner in which we say it. We should all teach our children from the time they are able to talk to be compassionate and never say cruel things to others. We would find this a much happier world in which to live.
