The answer to the above query seems so obvious. Do you yell, scream and verbally bully your friends, family, employees or coworkers? Do you hit, pull hair, bite, or physically harm others in any way? Do you manipulate others to do your bidding by making them feel bad? If you said yes to any of the aforementioned you are a verbal, physical and/or emotional abuser. The real query should be, do you recognize any of these behaviors as harmful to others or yourself?
How often have we heard an abuser say “she made me hit her.” How often have we heard an abuser say “if you loved me you’d do it, I guess you just don’t care.” It is common for abusers to have multiple restraining orders filed against them and they continue to stalk and abuse. It is common for verbally abusive people to have their relationships fail over and over again. The emotional abuser who does not leave physical scars or bruises can be just as damaging. Abusers often don’t recognize their behavior as abusive. They consider their actions justified. Children emotionally, verbally and physically abused become abusers themselves because they know of no other way. I’ve heard people say, “We got whippings with the belt and I’m glad because it kept me out of trouble and made me the man I am today!” They consider their behavior a legitimate way to get their needs met.
If your relationships fall apart because of your temper. If you’ve ever been jailed because of violent behavior. If you need to be violent with your children in order to maintain discipline in your home. If the ones you love the most are afraid to talk to you, be in the same room with you, or are depressed and cry often. If you call the ones you love names “for their own good.” If you feel powerful when you know others are afraid of you; you are an abuser. Ultimately, you will pay the price by losing the ones you love. Seek professional counseling so the abuse can stop and you can have the respectful loving nurturing relationships you truly want
