Today was a tedious goddamn waste of life. Totally void of any type of action or stimulation of any of the senses. Unfortunately, this is not a rarity in the sluggish stretch of time Ive been enslaved to endure. This farcical nonsense will never end until the gilded war mongers get their fix on blood and oil. But addicts are never completely satisfied, are they?
Hell naw, bubba! I would know. I am an addictive personality and excess is my patented trademark. But there is a difference between sadism and masochism. And my vices are purely masochistic. Like smoking and drinking and pushing myself into states of wicked delirium and dreamy chaos due to lack of will and ability to sleep. Even if I could rest, I wouldn’t want to. Why you ask? Sleep is an overrated necessity and a waste of precious time. And we all know that we are short of this to begin with. Especially in my situation, being a political martyr and all. Your number could be up at any given Iraqi moment. So I tend to amuse myself with petty acts of rebellion and my own arcane methods of studying human beings during these chronic periods of restlessness. My favorite study is fear in the human heart. Some people turn into the ostrich as I like to call it. This creature will cower underneath disbelief and reject the hellish reality tapping them on the back until the moment of horror has passed. Needless to say this is not the most practical method in dealing with the most powerful emotion your psyche has to offer. Plus words like pussy and feeble come to mind.
There are many different types and characters in the wide spectrum world of fear. And all have certain distinguishable traits that confess the secret core of the individual. This is the best way to get to know a wife or friend or even an enemy for that matter. Knowing your enemy’s faults and habits can add certain valuable advantages when dealing out your vengeance and constructing manipulation.
So go home tonight, sit down at the dinner table and calmly give praise for the meal you are about to eat. Then, abruptly stand up after prayer and pull out your Beretta 9mm while screaming in violent convicting tongues and point that little cherry pie maker directly at your wife’s or best friends skull(unloaded of course, for safety.) Then you will see for yourself this sacred revelation and become an eternal addict and patron of fear.
Oh shit! I lied. This vice does seem to be the monkey of a sadist. But in the end you will attain an irreplaceable education in practical bar room psychology that a professor or doctor within scientific reason and sanity would never teach or condone. You might lose a couple of unimaginative friends. But, just the same as comfort, friends come and go. Fear is eternal. Hallelujah and Amen.
