There is a deal of wisdom in the song about how one should “whistle a happy tune, so no one will suspect I’m afraid.” The message of the song is brought home with the words “For when I fool the people I fear, I fool myself as well.” Wise it may be, but fear is a much more complicated emotion, stemming from many sources. Often it is based on experiences that have taught a life lesson in wariness; sometimes it is totally irrational, like the non-existent, but to a child, absolutely real monster in the closet or under the bed. Whether rooted in past reality or some totally imaginary lack of reason, fear can really destroy a person’s mental and physical well being. So it is vital to find strategies for how to overcome fear.
First, the fear and its origins must be defined. This can be accomplished by talking and really, honestly voicing the fear. It should be examined in detail; sometimes a professional counsellor is needed, but often a good and trusted friend or family member will work just as well. However it is achieved, every aspect of the fear and its effects should be explored.
* Where does it come from?
* Who or what is the main threat or antagonist?
* How does it affect the sufferer?
* What do they think can be done to overcome it?
That last point is a very important part of the process, allowing the person with the fear to contribute their own solutions.
Think of that frightened child with the monster under the bed. The parent stays with them, while together they shine a torch into the darkness and reveal the truth. Then consider the night light, left burning to keep the light of truth shining, to keep fear at bay. A great coping mechanism for the child and an allegorical example for the adult in fear.
So overcoming fear for adults also involves the assurance of some support, after having confronted the “monster” or fear head on. Because inside every frightened adult is a fearful child who needs care, love and support to stand strong and take control. Recognizing and accepting the need for help, if even for a short period of time, is another huge step to overcoming fear.
There are other strategies that an individual can use when fear threatens to engulf them. These can be as simple as deep breathing, creative visualization, physical activity or a mantra. What better mantra than that old song about “fool myself as well”?
One final thing a fearful person should never, ever be afraid of; asking for help whenever they need it. By recognizing what causes the fear, then facing it with whatever coping strategies developed, it can and will be overcome. Some wise person said “there is nothing to fear but fear itself,” so by holding on to that, fear can be overcome.
