A smile with a thousand i love yous:
There are times in each person’s life when they will have to give up on something they really want, and this is mine, not just something i want, but something i feel i don’t know how to live without! my other half, the thing that makes me whole, the missing piece of the me puzzle.
Thinking about this reminded me of all the things i love about my ex, and also got me to questioning whether or not there was a way for me to get over a smile?
In every relationship there will be something about the other person that makes you weak at the knees, be it a body part, a saying or in my case a smile, a smile only i got to see, a smile that could say i love you a thousand times over and only to me, is there any way that one day the memory of the smile will be just that: a memory, or will it always be the thing that i long for the most.
And to add insult to a smile, that isn’t the only thing that i crave,a cuddle, the smell of his car, the smell of his aftershave, hearing i love you, and most of all, seeing him everyday with the smile.
This led me to thinking about what i have to do, do i go away for a while to truly get over the smile and be able to live free and not under the smile spell anymore or do i stay where i am, with my feet firmly in place and try and make up for what went wrong and make it so that the smile that says a thousand i love yous will once more be all that i need?
I begun to wonder about love and how something that would seem to insignificant as a smile can make you want someone so badly, and how after it has been taken away from you, you want it even more.
Like the old saying, you only want what you cant have, i couldn’t help but wonder whether i wanted the infamous smile so much is because i didn’t have it any more, but was brought back only by the realization that, it isn’t that i cant have the smile anymore, but that i don’t have the smile as much anymore.
There are times every now and again, when i will receive the smile, and it is usully at the most unexpected times, while driving along, or maybe even in a car in front of him at the traffic lights, and i will see it through the rear view mirror! Unexpected, lovely and heart warming, some of the feelings the thousand word smile bring me, so how is it that i am supposed to get over it and move on with my life, when even though we are not together anymore, i am not yet ready to get over him or the smile, and if i was, then seeing the smile now would not have an effect on me anymore.
There is a proverb “anything is possible”, i couldn’t help wonder whether anything really is possible and that one day we will be together once more and that i will indeed have the smile with a thousand words every single day, and we would live happily ever after.
So the thousand i love you smile: fried of foe?
