There are so many reasons for letting someone you love go. It could be an ending in the relationship, marriage, a child, and even death. But for every circumstance there are four basic steps that you go through before you can finally say okay. Before you can let them go.
Disbelief Period.
People will inevitably go into denial in the first stage. No one believes that they must sever all ties, or let go of someone dear to them. As cliche as it sounds, the most important part is recognizing this step, because if you do not, it will make it unbearably harder to move to the next step.
Realization Period.
When you come to grips, and are no longer in denial, the horrible ugly truth will set in. Whatever it may be, it is ultimately the hardest step because now your nose is right there, rubbing in the situation. Your mind will start to go over details, and warning signs. If it is death, then this is where the numbness fades a bit and the pain will settle deep within your breast. For all of us who have lost someone we love, we know this feeling intimately, because the sad part is that though it may ease, this step will stay with you for your lifetime.
Destructive Period.
This is the step that is hardest on not you, but those who love you. Many will turn to alcohol, drugs, any addictive thing they can get their hands on. Some will pick up behaviors that were never a part of their lives before now. This is when the pain of realization is too hard to bare. This step could last a few weeks, to years. Unfortunately the human heart cannot break, or else it would have done so before this period, but it can and will scar. This period is when the scar is thrust into our faces, and we just can’t bare to look at it head on, so we hide it behind destructive behavior.
Acceptance Period.
This will not happen until you make peace. It will not happen until you have grieved the loss of that individual. This is when you can think about a memory involving that person, and you only feel a pang of regret. Unfortunately this is when things fade, their face isn’t as clear anymore, their smell is hard to remember, and their laugh. All of the things you remember are a little duller. This period can be absolutely frightening because of that. You feel guilt for not remembering, but the pain is not so intense anymore, and you move on.
This if you apply it to any situation is inevitably true. Whenever we lose someone we love, through any means, we grieve them. We ache for their presence, but have faith because you do heal. You’re heart will never be as smooth as it was once, and scars have a way of peaking in at the most inopportune time, but have confidence that it will be okay. You will make it, because the human mind and heart are wonderful designs, wonderful healers.
If you are someone who is trying hard to let go, please remember to take a deep breath and remind yourself that it will be better, no matter how hard it is now, you will heal over. You will make it, just believe in that, and you are already closer than you think.
