To let someone go, you have to first admit to yourself that there is no chance to continue in the relationship. Sometimes, that is hard to do. When you love someone, it hurts. You cry and feel loads of pain and desperation, sure the world will end if you walk away from the one you love or thought you loved.
But life must go on. You cannot continue to be in a relationship that is not healthy for you or your partner, because it will ultimately keep you from being in a good relationship with someone who is really the right one for you.
The first thing to do is write a letter. You don’t even have to mail it. Just write i nice long, sad, loving goodbye letter to the partner or just the relationship in general.
Then gather up all the things that remind you of your ex and put them in a box. You can throw away the old pictures or just store them until a later date. Don’t keep items around to remind you of all the good times, it will only make getting over it worse.
Go do something nice for yourself. Go for a walk, ride a bike, go shopping, take a hot bath, treat yourself to ice cream. Remember you are special and you will love again.
I know this will seem like impossible, but get out there and date again. It will be hard, but soon you will find meeting others, even for a friendly coffee will help you move beyond the inner circle you had with your ex.
If you have to, get a haircut, take a short vacation, go to church, do anything that will reconnect you to yourself and the person you were before you met your ex.
Pick up a new hobby. Take a photography class. Build model airplanes. Keep your mind active on things other than your ex.
And lastly, try to cut off communication from your ex. I know many of you will want to be ‘friends’ still and will get alot of pressure from your ex to do so, but at the early stages after a break-up it’s not healthy or possible to remain distant from the old feelings, which could start the cycle again of reconciliation and break-up. Maybe in the future you will be friends again, but for now, politely say that you need your space.
Lastly take some time to nurture yourself and treat yourself the way you would treat your own child, with kindness, love and lots of hugs. You will love again! Don’t lose sight of the beautiful world around us that although sometimes dark and lonely is full of endless possibilities for hope and happiness!
