How can one get motivated in spite of oneself? Wouldn’t we just love to have a blanket statement or formula that works for everyone? As convenient as that may be in reality motivation is unique to the individual and thus there are as many forms of motivation as there are people. We have so many tricks and cunning to get around inertia into motivated movement but which one will work for you and which one for me?
There are also many levels of society to consider. Some people are living in survival mode on the lowest level of Carl Jung’s ladder of social levels while to others survival is a given and simply has no motivational value. On other levels habitual pleasures, addictions and comforts that we got used to are the greater motivators. ”I will do anything but leave me the DSTV.”
There are of course negative extrinsic motivations as well that can give one the short term results but they only work while the tyrant is around to enforce it. These are those simple threats where one does not want to live with the consequences. They may vary from something as dramatic as blackmail or threat to something as simple as having ones services suspended for not paying a bill. Those are relatively self evident and therefore not in need of much elaboration.
For ourselves we want intrinsic motivations that work period. Something positive that inspires us into movement from a deep desire within. Those are the positive life enhancing ones that puts a jump in ones step while following ones bliss.
The most basic broad spectrum formula for positive motivation is the dangling carrot formula: A strong desire for something is a good start. Couple to that a way or a means to get that desire and make it a reality for oneself. Now it seems a little better but what if one cannot do what it takes? So then we would have to ad that one too. We can say the desire will inspire the willingness to do what is needed to get one to the outcome one desires.
So the broad statement then is having a dream that one is willing to work for, and then a way that can actually be done by one to get one to one’s dream. That should be sufficient providing one is not depressed in any way. This would be the most effective long term motivators because it is extrinsic and intrinsic combined.
It is a known fact in psychology that people with good self esteem are more daring and willing than people with low self esteem. Its obvious really that people who believe in themselves will be more motivated but we often forget this. So a good exercise will be one of building ones self esteem and to avoid people who like breaking it down.
Also then when trying to motivate another person it will be good to begin by complementing that person without being obvious or lying. One has to find the good things and honestly complement them on it. In this way one wins favor with them while one makes them a little more daring and up to the challenge. If there is no real present thing one may remind them of previous victories they had in life.
We all differ in diversity so finding the right ‘carrot’ and then also a way that can be done by the person you would like to motivate is important. It takes a little one on one communication to find out what a person really wants. A Rembrandt may be excellent motivation for an art collector in Europe but to an Eskimo in Alaska it’s would be as worthless as the Eskimo’s spear gun would be to the art collector.
Also ones motivation may appear to be about the glamour at first, until one looks below the surface and discovers a psychological desire to be acknowledged or validated as a worthwhile human being. That in turn motivates the desire for glamour. The deeper one finds the motivation the better it is going to work and the longer it is going to last.
The next step then would be to present the means that would get the one being motivated to that ones desires. The means usually entails work so therefore it is essential that one is willing to “do what it takes’ to get the job done. A good motivator will break the job down into simple everyday tasks that one may do that appears easy enough. That way one can actually see how it is going to be accomplished instead of looking at all the work together. A Sufi mystic might say: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the firs step” And then another step and another step and so on. One step at a time is easy.
In order to motivate another person there are a few more things the motivator needs to have. The very essential ones are listed as follows.
Communication.
Communication is essential and therefore it bodes well to know the ways to establish communication. Strangers don’t have much to say to one another so one needs to find common ground by talking about something safe. How many sales people ask about the weather? It’s a safe topic and usually allows for variable preferences without argument.
Affinity
The motivator must have some form of charm in order to sell so affinity towards him or her is important. How dos one create affinity? You share reality once again. Affinity and communication are both related to reality. The more you can share reality with a person the more you establish affinity. The more affinity you establish the easier your communication becomes. Reality thus is the easiest way to get a person to open up and listen to ones proposal.
Reality.
Reality can be anything you choose but its best to choose something easy and least controversial like the weather. No matter whether the person agrees or disagrees with you the longer you talk about the same thing in reality the better they open up to listening to what you propose. So no matter what they say one can get them involved by asking personal questions like “Why do you think so?” or “Why do you say that?”
Affinity, reality and communication work hand in hand. Where one attracts the other they all attract. In sharing reality we get affinity and communication to move closer together.
Sell your motivation.
This way then communication is established. Once that is done the next step it to establish the persons dreams and desires and then to get the person to see how your proposal will get them there. It is then also important to take the ‘work’ part of your proposal and to break it down to easy simple attainable daily goals so as not to scare ones audience off because most people believe they are too busy for anything to be added.
You have to make the goal attainable to anybody while you keep the desired outcome in front of the person you want to motivate. You don’t want to lose them in the technicalities so best bring their attention back to their desired dream over and over again while presenting the means of getting there. Weather it is impressing society or finding deep fulfillment, or ones life’s purpose one has to keep ones audience focused by repeating the desire or goal as often as possible without sounding out of place.
These are simple skeleton technicalities of motivation and they appear rather calculated. One has to ad ones own caring and compassion by really taking an interest in the person one is motivating because cold facts are rarely effective when one forgets to add the ‘human touch’ So be sincere and really take an interest in the other person and the results will follow.
