Few people actually fear death. There are certainly some who do, those afraid of what it feels like to die.
For most, however, the real fear deals with what comes after
death.
People are frequently afraid of the unknown, and death is the gateway to the biggest unknown of all.
Whole religions are founded to provide an answer to the question: what happens when we die? We speculate about the possibility of an afterlife, wonder what it might be like, and console each other in times of grief with our beliefs about it.
Some of us fear hell, a place of eternal torment for the souls of the wicked. Some of us fear becoming ghosts, mere shades of what we once were, doomed to wander the Earth, alone and powerless, for eternity. Some of us even fear paradise, simply because of the sheer magnitude of what such a thing entails, or reincarnation because of the inevitable loss of all that has mattered most in that person’s life.
But virtually everyone favors any of those possibilities over the alternative: oblivion.
We cannot stand to even consider the possibility that all we are, all we have done, and all that we’ve gone through in this life should ultimately amount to nothing. We can barely even comprehend the notion that at the end of the road waits not a clearing, but a void. The idea that we should simply cease to exist, that our souls might vanish into an abyss of utter extinguishment, is terrifying.
When a loved one dies, we grieve. We despair for the loss of that person, whom we will never see again. What we feel is not pain on that other person’s behalf, but a sense of loss in ourselves; a negative change in our own lives that cannot be undone.
It is that element, irreparable change, that compels us to fear. We learn early on that some consequences cannot be altered, that some regrets can never be made right. As a result, when the winds of change blow, all but the most discontent run for cover.
Clinging to that which is known, whether real or imagined, we find solace from the unknowable. We cannot stand to face the things that lurk in the darkest shadows of our own minds, so we hide behind curtains of faith and clutch to this reality like an anchor.
However, we cannot every fully assuage our fear for what lies beyond the grave. But even so, we can neither deny the fundamental understanding that there is something special about life, about existence, about self-aware independent thought. There is something different about us, something that sets us apart from every other life form we’ve ever known.
We hope beyond hope that this counts for something when we meet our end.
We can see, conceptualize, and grasp the deepest secrets of this reality. From the tiniest particles of matter to the farthest reaches of the cosmos, there is no reason to believe that, given enough time, all the secrets of the universe will eventually fall within our domain of mastery.
Despite it all, we are utterly unable to penetrate the veil between this world and the next, to even so much as glimpse what lies beyond. We have no idea whatsoever as to what lies ahead for any of us. We have nothing more than an abstract guess.
Nonetheless, there is much that can be learned, and much to be understood, from observing death on this side of whatever barrier lies between this reality and the next, if there is one. We find that through acceptance of the inevitability of this change, we can come to terms with it.
Perhaps by embracing our own inevitable fate, when the time comes, we will better be able to cope with whatever it is that happens.
There is a prayer, heard in various forms throughout every one of the world’s religions. In the English-speaking world, it goes like this: “God, give me the strength to change the things that I can, the peace to accept those things that I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Great philosophers through all the ages of man have known that the true gift of life is life itself.
Those of us who live have a rare and beautiful opportunity to experience this world. We can find joy and happiness, contentment; we can laugh, and learn, and grow.
And though sorrow often finds its way into our hearts, we cannot deny that the benefits of life far outweigh the drawbacks. But there is a price. This life is but a temporary state, one that passes all too soon.
What becomes of us after life has ended, I cannot say, no more than anyone else. But what I can be certain of is this: if I must someday die so that today I can live, so be it; I would rather face oblivion than never have known the wonder of learning, the joy of loving, and the freedom of life.
The cost, by comparison, is insignificant, and irrelevant.
We do not fear death, we fear the unknown that waits beyond the veil. We fear the change, and the loss that goes along with it. But what we should fear the most of all is giving in to that fear and letting it taint the experience of this life.
At the end of the road, whatever becomes of us does not matter in the slightest, because, today, we were here. Today, we live. And that, like death, can never be undone.
We are bound to this reality by the very fact that we exist. Forevermore, the absolute and unquestionable truth is that we have made an impact, if only in a small way, on all that is and all that ever will be.
So long as this reality exists, this fact cannot be erased or ignored: We have lived. What is death, next to that?
Next to that, death has no power over us.
