Does it often seem as though nothing you do is ever quite good enough? Do you ever feel that your every step is being examined under a microscope? Does it feel that you are always being watched, and constantly critiqued, but never living up to what is expected of you? Criticism; even when carefully thought out and delivered in a kind way; may grate on your nerves, and may even trigger resentment of sorts.
This reaction is truly understandable, since the value you place upon yourself, can easily be influenced by what others say and think about you. Making mistakes is all a part of the learning process, but how do we cope with the criticism that comes along with it? First, think about what’s behind the criticism. Sometimes the person doing the criticizing may be in a bad mood, they may be struggling with an illness, or they may be struggling with inadequacies themselves. Whatever is behind the criticism; the question remains, how can you cope with it? Try these suggestions outlined by “YPA” vol2:
* Listen- Instead of quickly justifying your actions or protesting your innocence, try to keep your cool and absorb what is being said. Angrily interrupting will give the appearance that you are not listening. This will only lead to more criticism, not less.
* Focus- Rather than dwell on how the criticism was delivered, focus on what was said. Ask yourself, “What part of this critique rings true”? and “What would it cost me to comply with the request?”
* Rephrase- If you respectfully rephrase the council back to the deliverer of the critique, you reassure them that you are listening.
* Wait- Save any justification until after you have fulfilled the wishes required of you. Once it’s been established that you have been listening, maybe you’ll get a chance to speak your mind.
For a little extra help with enabling you to cope with criticism, here are two tips to keep in mind:
1.) Appreciate any commendation that you may receive along with the critique.
2.) Ask for clarification if you are not clear about the problem or the solution expected from you.
True, criticism is difficult to swallow, most of the time, but if you sift out the nuggets of wisdom hidden in any critiques you may receive, you’ll have a treasure worth more than gold. Let’s face it: Criticism is a part of life. Learning to cope with it will make you a more progressive, valued and confident person in general. No doubt, it’s worth the effort to gain those results.
