Anger and Retaliation
The world we live in is more becoming a platform where the idea of neighborhood is becoming lost on the hourly bases. The people you find around you look onto you to tolerate them without considering that they too are expected to show thesame tolerance they inquire of you. The rate of violence increases on the hour. Serial – Killers emerging with different techniques. We see life being wasted by fellow humans without remorse. It is the joy of the hour that people fancy muscle strength. World Wide Wrestling is becoming the most highly watch sport in our time. Children only learn to fight their fellow friends. People show extreme interest when they hear chaos. Bad news is actually becoming the topic of all TV Stations, Radio Stations and the like. Every time you tune to CNN you spend fifty percent of your time watching fightings around the world. The question therefore arises, who is my neighbor and where is the spirit of neighborhood? Mankind has transformed the world into a place where only wicked deeds actually prevail. The governments do not encourage the contrary, churches introduce the contrary in the form of self – defense, forgetting the preaching of Christ, “Love thee neighbor as thyself.”
I hold the opinion that this is so because of the lack of knowledge of neighborhood. The lack of tolerance and the lack of the ultimate key of live, Love. If people where actually made to understand that their reaction to a particular incidence could have been different if only they had taken time to reflect before reacting, things will then at least start to point to a positive healing. The truth is as Stephen R. Covey puts it his work, Living the Seven Habits; “between action and reaction, there is a pulse.” The key is the reflection that should occur during the pulse.
One of the funniest challenges I have had to deal with has been overcoming my Anger and by this checking my Retaliation. I can say that as a person I grew up in an environment where it is expected that all the psychological traumas existing should have been part of me; broken home, battering, child abuse and even abandon by the one that fathered me. But the question is; does anybody actually hold the responsibility of the happenings in others’ live? I am me and you are you. My problems are mind and yours are yours. To create an enabling environment around me, I had to first overcome, above all, my life’s traumas. I have developed the attitude of putting my live into cross examination before reacting to any kind of stimulus. I came up the following definition for stimulus, those impulses or actions caused by others that require me to think before I act.
Retaliation is not an option to any instance of live and has nothing to do with Anger. It is quite right to get angry, but wrong to retaliate. Allow the pulse between action and reaction and you will marvel at the truth that will actually unfold before you.
It is a taboo in my place to be slapped by a woman. I did not complete University Studies because of the breakage in my home and I refused to choose sides and asked both my parents to leave me alone. One day, during a rush to the lecture hall in my second year, at the peek of my self therapy on my mood (Anger), I got slapped by a girl for as foolish a reason that my hand hit her buttocks. I accepted the fact that actually that did happen, though I shall emphasize that it did not happen deliberately and to an extend was her fault, for she rushed pass in front of me and in my walking style, I normally swing my arms at reasonable length, got herself on the way of my hands and therefore got hit. She turned automatically and slapped me. The first thing that came to my mind that morning was this is foolishness and this girl requires a lesson. But on second thought I delayed my reaction and decided to act differently. Upon reflection, I thought it best not to retaliate but contemplate on such a foully. Her action had called attention and the jerrying that resonated from the students both around and far was pushy. She took her stand and awaited my next move, being also prepared to, if need be, fight. I absorbed all this. Found the magic word, and told her I was sorry. This, certainly to her chagrin. Rounding-pass her, I continued on my path to the lecture hall where I got the highest humiliation from my friends. I had only this to say to them “it was not worth it”. It is not worth fighting. It is not worth being as stupid as she expected. A week later she walked up to my department looking for me. Though everybody thought I will throw her out, I simply thanked God for giving me the opportunity to bring another soul to the truth. Today, we are best of friends. She changed her perception and ideology as relationship to others is concerned.
Most at times, the true nature of people are actually hidden in one way or another. They may look Angry, annoyed and ready to retaliate to every action from anybody. Giving them the opportunity to reflect into their action may change their mind frame. Deep within, we are all vested with the power to control our reaction. Just stop, think, and then if you find nothing worthy of anything, just move on. Silence is not weakness. It pays to try to understand others and when possible give them the chance to express their point.
It is not worth fighting for. Retaliation is not a virtue, not even in self defense. Reflect properly, consider what it took Christ to go through the agony of the cross and at the end found the words to ask His Father to forgive our ignorance. In many ways the ignorance of others may or has even caused us pain. Be thankful to be given such an opportunity to express, show and propagate Divine Love. You are actually blessed for and by it.
I could go on and on pointing instances where pulsing to reflect after a negative action has actually healed wounds and fostered happiness and peace. Places where living with the spirit of neighborhood has encouraged many to change their ideas in regard to others. But as it is said, a word to a wise is enough.
