How do you control your anger? By first accepting that it isn’t about control at all. Nope, anger is generated by a multitude of adverse influences. Anger comes from ones inability to correctly assist the factors and characteristics that make ‘ya wanna holla! And get this, even after ‘ya holla the desire to wanna lash out, strike someone is so debilitating to you just do it.
Many of the problems that people have is because of that false desire that they can control something. Why not re-assess how you arrive at your decision to do something. Stop re-acting which takes very little thought and go into a pro-active stance and act. With actions you first must be in a mind set to have considered the many options that may come your way opposed to that one option that comes from a position of anger. The response of anger get one reply. sooner or later, and it’s always bad. Think first and stop being controlled which is what you have been pre-programmed to accept.
This is followed by the next phase which is to consider the overall impacts of what your re-actions will bring. Right, those consequences. Everything comes with certain, exact consequences. Most negative consequences are due to re-actions, resulting in something coming your way that you really don’t wanna deal with. Basically you have created your own walls providing you with that prison you wanted so desperately avoid. But when you think, ahhh, this gives you time to quietly contemplate those options you really wanna pick from. These are your choices that usually are going to be based on positions that will generate positive responses. Hence, thought to action not re-actions to the controlling action of anger.
This is not a play on words or an attempt to control your thinking. No, I’m not coming from the Twilight Zone. I am into influencing, which is where I think you are trying to place yourself. Life and its many components seem extremely complex, yet… If and when you follow the simple rule of K.I.S. “Keep It Simple” you can remove the degrees of complexities that come with the meshing of different cultures that seem to be in constant flux. When opinions are different, when ways and means don’t seem to be coming from the same think tank. This is the beginning of that devastating control mechanism that seems to have pervaded our every thought. We call ourselves people. We say that we are the master of our universe, but we are so into control. Check this out. If you are in so much control then why are you always at odds and angry? Is it because you really don’t feel that supreme sense of control?
I have been suffering from anger for many many years. In fact while sitting on the busiest corner in Las Vegas, NV I was approached by one of the friendly neighborhood Law Enforcers. He walked up to me and inquired about my gear, “the clothing I wore”. Sensing his attitude was close to approaching the no-return zone of negativity I smiled and said, I get my clothing at the same place as you. Adding the store. He saw that I wasn’t easily bothered by such a lame approach so he changed his tactics. Saying, “why are you sitting on this corner”. Again I smiled and replied. “Because this is Las Vegas and you guys have that motto that goes like this. “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, so why don’t you let me enjoy this stay and when I leave I won’t remember you badge number or face. And I won’t report you to the media for harassment.” Suffice to say he quietly stepped away.
The point of my story is that despite that I was being approached because I was BMWW also known to mean “Black Man Watching Women”, I was aware of my environments along with those many oddities that make up its environs. So I had advised myself that to get angry would only usher in those X factors. Which are anything of the unknown. The area of no control. And herein lies the key. I wasn’t seeking control. I had made a conscious decision to influence my life and not allow life to dictate policy to me. So I didn’t re-act to the intrusion by the simply minded policeman, but acted. Based on my understanding of those consequences that would and could have been something I may not have been able to handle.
I specialize in Communications Between The Sexes. But to do so I must always be willing to think before I… Shall I say re-act. Interactions between people can be pretty sticky sometimes. Those are the times when anger will seeping in, gaining that hold on you. Controlling you. Lockin’ ya down like a bad habit. Ask yourself this. “Is it better to be in control or influence myself so that I may continue with myself?” Life is worth living. Live…
