Anger management is an efficient strategy for controlling your anger. You can not change things or people around you, but you can certainly learn how to control your own reactions to them. Learning how to control your anger can help you reduce the intensity of your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger provokes. You can best control your anger by relaxing your body, defining the offense and a potential offender and understanding where he or she may be coming from. It would be wise to record what made you angry and allow yourself adequate time to grieve. In the end, it would be best if you could relase your offender and turn into a different direction in life.
Below listed are outlined steps on how to establish better control over your anger.
Relax your body through progressive muscle relaxation
Count till ten before you respond to anger. Your initial reaction is usually wrong and you may regret it down the road. Thus, give your self ample time to calm down and relax before you respond to a provocation. Use a proven cognitive-behavour technique called progressive muscle relaxtion if you want to achieve the full effect of relaxation.
Define the offense and a potential offender
Once you investigate the deep and underlying causes of your anger, you should find ways to keep your anger under control. The first step in controlling your anger would be to admit to your hidden and unresolved anger. It is usually your high expectations and previous losses that can trigger your anger. You may blame something or someone else for the losing an unfulfilled dream or your peace of mind. It is difficult to try to identify your offender, but it can speed the process of releasing your anger. Identifying and trying to understand your offender will help you feel better as a result. Make the effort to understand the offender’s background and motivation. By understanding where your offender may be coming from, you will be better positioned to control your anger and forgive the offender.
Write down what made you angry
It would be best to write down the obssessive thoughts that are making you angry and restless. After writing down your negative thoughts you can take a look at them objectively without any emotions or feelings attached. This process alone can help you control and release some of your anger. You can always take the time to write to the person who offended you by openly expressing your hurts, frustrations, and fears in this letter. You don’t have to mail the letter. You can always burn it in the fire later on if necessary especially after the healing effect takes place. As a result of expressing your feelings and thoughts openly in writing, you will feel more relaxed and empowered in the process. You might not feel the relaxation effects immediately after the act, but with time they will surely come.
Allow yourself adequate time to grieve
Just like with grief and loss the same holds true with your anger. If you’ve identified and written down the cause of your anger, then you can start working on accepting the incurred pain and making peace with it. It is only normal to take the time to grieve over your loss if the healing effect is to incurr.
Release your offender and turn your life into a different direction
Find space in your heart to release your offender. It is about learning how to forgive your offender. It is like saying “I forgive you. I am releasing you from the emotional ropes that have held me to you. I am not responsible to you anymore, and you are not responsible to me. It is over for us. I am going to turn my life in a different direction from now on.”
