Criminals are not genetically predisposed to criminality, they are not born with black hearts. I absolutely reject any theory that espouses that. Had I not known thousands of criminals, my opinion might not carry much weight. Criminality is the result of learned and unlearned behavior. It is not a mystery. Fortunately for a few, they figure it out.
Anyone can have children. There is no screening procedure, no S.A.T. test to determine parental fitness. All that is required to have a child is two consenting parents and a planned or unplanned pregnancy and birth. What happens once that child is born is not chance. Everything in that child’s life will be the result of cause and effect. Psychologists and studies suggest that 95% of all learned behavior comes from the home. If you accept that premise as true, then responsible parenting becomes mandatory and of the utmost importance. Your child will be armed with the skills you possess, or the skills and qualities you don’t possess. Some people are ill equipped to be parents. They simply don’t have all of the necessary skills to raise a child. There is one universal truth that I have personally observed over the years. Oftentimes, even the worst parents think they are good or at least adequate parents. It is a rare parent indeed that puts the blame for a child’s behaviors squarely where the responsibility belongs.
I’ve seen abandoned children grow up lacking self esteem and self worth. I’ve seen kids that are subjected to mental and physical child abuse grow up with anger and emotional problems. I’ve seen kids subjected to cruelty who grew up to be cruel and unkind. I’ve seen kids that never knew what love was- try desperately to find love. I’ve seen the kids of alcohol and drug addicted parents grow up to be drug and alcohol addicted themselves, often finding alcohol and drug addicted partners, friends, gangs and gang members. I’ve seen those people grow up and have children of their own. I’ve seen them indoctrinate and perpetuate the cycle of abandonment and abuse with their children. Unfortunately, even the most dysfunctional people do not understand how incapable they are of having normal relationships. They simply don’t know what a normal relationship is and they will tell you that. They were never exposed to anything else.
One evening, many years ago, I met a man named Ed. Ed told me that his son had been arrested for armed robbery and home invasion. Ed’s son had been trying to get money and drugs from a drug dealer that had “ripped him off.” He had used a gun and was facing a sentence of 25 years. Ed began to cry as he told me his story. He said that his son was only 19 years old. Ed told me that he had been addicted to crack his whole life and that his son had seen and been exposed to all that drug using and dealing. Both his ex-wife and he had used drugs and traded custody of their son. This was the only life Ed’s son had ever known and as Ed told this story he said that of course, it had to end this way. This was what he had taught his son to be. He understood what he had done. Ed said he cried himself to sleep many nights, wondering how it might have been if he had been present and drug free as his son was growing up. After serving eight years, Ed’s son was paroled. That was over five years ago. Ed and his son are now both clean and drug free and operate a successful sober living house. They are active in Alcoholics Anonymous.
I spent 24 years with people like Ed and his son. I came to believe that all people are born with good hearts. People become criminals as a result of what they are taught or not taught, they way they are loved or unloved, and how they cope or don’t cope with that. For guys like Ed and his son, it’s really not much of a mystery. They are some of the lucky ones.
