A child does not ask to be born. It comes into this world equipped with the potential for goodness and even greatness within the environment of its particular world. A child needs guidance, care, nurturing and love, comfort and safety. The human infant is well equipped to demand these; such natural demands are vital for the preservation of the species. Deprivation of any or all of these basic needs is a form of neglect. In particular, it can be stated, as a result of many research studies and much scientific evidence, parental neglect causes behavior problems in children.
By failing to provide these basic, developmental needs, parents who neglect deprive children of the opportunity to reach their full potential. Deprived children lack security and this stunts emotional and psychological growth, sometimes even physical growth. Instinct tells the child he or she is missing out on something vital. In cases of physical neglect or abuse, the real pain of their existence will confirm that their instinct is correct. So to preserve their own self, and the species, they demand. Demanding takes the form of behavior problems in many cases.
For a neglected child, any kind of attention is good. It defines their existence, it might even go some way to fulfilling those missing needs. Take the child who is largely ignored, stuck in front of a TV for hours with a bowl of chips. When such a child enters daycare or nursery school, it finds adults who try to connect, who focus on them and also, there are other children. The behavior problems that can emerge include total withdrawal, inability to relate to either peers or adults, and often, aggression.
This child will see that behaving badly or differently from the others, gets a response and the attention that is missing in a neglectful home. It has to be said that no particular economic group or strata of society should be singled out as neglectful. This sad situation can arise with the richest and most successful parents, right through to the poorest, single parent families. There is something missing, somehow in the parenting skills that makes for neglect.
The neglected child is sad, needy and confused. He or she sets out to grab whatever attention and nurturing from whatever adult source available. To this end, the child can be aggressive to other children, perceiving them as threats or competition in getting their own needs met. Disruptive, uncommunicative and downright unmanageable behaviors are then presented. It is easy to understand why, for the results of parental neglect are being played out through the problematic behavior of the child who is lost, suffering and deprived.
Many programs in parenting are now widely available. Not every parent can instinctively take up the most difficult role in life. A role that nothing so far has prepared them for. So, with a lot of understanding and a recognition of how problems occur, along with a determination to help, the behavior problems caused by parental neglect may be addressed and reduced. Inside every “badly behaved” child is a small person crying out for love and attention. Addressing these needs are an investment in that child’s future and the future of the human race.
