This is especially difficult if the person you are attempting to help has been bombarded with negativity about him or her self since childhood by family and societal influences. It might have been that the person was seen as a potential problem by reason of their high verbal ability. Or it might be that the parents did not love the person as a child and the community perceiving this proceeded to finish off the job of devaluation.
If you are in a small community and the politics are “set” concerning the person you are trying to help, then it would be best to assess the person’s judgement about his/her environment. After that, it might be good to begin having the person write or otherwise articulate that person’s opinion about the environment and work from there.
You must remember that even if the process of devaluation lasted from the age of 3 to 17, that is fourteen years worth of damage. The biological brain is wired for a certain amount of truth and it is maddening to be told lies over and over again. However, after a while, the brain computes it as truth, but confusion arises upon reflection. Which is why the insane don’t think about much except how to present themselves as sane. Must be hell.
I think it would be imperitive that the person needing the help be kept away from all family members and if possible removed from the community.
There are gradations of insanity. One must understand that an entire community can be in agreement and thereby, the agreement renders the insanity as sane. The insane, as I have learned are pretty good at acting sane. And in a situation where those who know better but don’t have the guts to say it, then insanity has its way.
Ultimately, the best way to help a person overcome a negative self image is via self help. One could use an on-line type therapy or books, pamphlets or letters. That removes the “threat” for the people who perceive the person to be “threatening”.
And yet, truth is always good. Telling the person the truth. When a person who has been used nearly all of their life as a whipping girl or boy, nee as the negative factor for comparison, I think that telling them the truth will free them a bit.
Of course, realistically evaluating talent and developing the person’s ability to articulate their ideas about how best to use their talent would be important.
No, you really aren’t stupid. No, you didn’t deserve to be beaten by your teacher. No, you are not ugly, useless, worthless, etc. No, society doesn’t care.
And if they have been abused by religious sorts, it would be important to advise them that there are constitutional reasons why religion can’t hold them hostage. Further, if God did indeed create the universe, then He can, by all means work His magic anywhere. He is not kept in a box in some church.
Freeing the person from the inner bonds of destruction requires information.
