Trust proves difficult for many people. When you trust another person with intimate parts of yourself, it leaves you vulnerable to hurt and heartbreak. Still, trust remains one of the key factors in a healthy relationship, according to Planned Parenthood. If you have difficulty trusting, or if your partner has previously lied or been unfaithful, you may wonder how you can ever trust again. Trust is built through both day-to-day actions and a leap of faith. Once you’ve done the work and made that leap, you can enjoy the closeness and intimacy possible in a trusting relationship.
Be Honest
“People build trust by being honest,” says Planned Parenthood in their article “Is Your Relationship Good For You?” When two people are honest with each other, it becomes easier to talk about tough subjects. Lies degrade this bond and erode trust you’ve already formed. Lies also make it more difficult for your partner to believe things you say in the future. Honestly includes both telling the truth and admitting when you’ve made a mistake. In healthy relationships, honesty proves a key component, and it becomes a crucial element in a trusting relationship.
Give Trust
Trust is a two way street. You have to give trust if you want to build trust in a relationship. This means taking a leap, even if you feel uncomfortable with trusting your partner. It becomes especially hard to make this leap if your partner has proved unfaithful. Concentrate on times when your partner has kept his word. Avoid constantly second-guessing his motives, words and actions. Accusations don’t foster trust and too many of them may make your partner feel like he can’t do right, no matter how hard he tries. Negotiate a clean start and stick to it. Leave the past in the past.
Be Trustworthy
It’s not enough to trust your partner. You also have to be a trustworthy person. Trustworthy people keep their promises. They call when they say they’ll call. They keep secrets when you ask them to. They’re reliable and keep their word. Practice these qualities as you work to build trust. Trust is gauged by a persons actions more than by his words, says Charles D. Schmitz, Ph.D. and Elizabeth A. Schmitz, Ed.D., authors of “Building Great Marriages” for “Psychology Today.” Avoid gossip, keep a fair and level head when problems arise and give praise and compliments when deserved. If you’re a solid, steadfast presence in your partner’s life, she’ll feel more comfortable trusting you.
About this Author
Lillian Downey has a diverse background, including studies in English, social work, women’s studies, non-profit management, political science and nursing. She’s worked as an intern sex-educator, clinic manager and mental health professional. She is currently studying to be a birth doula and childbirth educator. She served as editor-in-chief of “Nexus Journal of Literature and Art” and an assistant fiction editor at the “Antioch Review.”
