November 17, 2015 Crisis Support
While sitting in the bookstore, plotting how best to murder the pretentious middle aged writer who squeezed in next to me, I notice some woman with her child looking at the bargain books. My attention is eager to be somewhere…
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I was never a fan of the concept of polyamory. I understood that people did it, spent time around those who did (and those who considered it a sacrament), and didn’t hold it against them because it really wasn’t any…
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I turn on my computer, intending only to tell Melanie that I am home and then go to bed. After her hello, she is silent for several minutes and then writes: look, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry I…
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I had managed not to cry until the very end – until we sat, nude and cuddled together, playing on the internet and I realized how much I would miss something so simple. Then my tears drained out of me…
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I don’t have nightmares. Put me in a building full of zombies and I am perfectly relaxed. I’m going to survive this, I just have to wait in safety until they are all destroyed. Ever I am the scariest thing…
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Part Time Lovers As a rule, I want to fall in love and, for a while, that usually involves unquenched lust, desiring to remove articles of clothing and faith that should adhere fast until I have earned their removal. Someone…
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“Can I get you anything?” I ask Melanie, the woman over whom I have quietly pined these past three months, whose presence I have gotten not to need but wanted so much more. I don’t know what to do with…
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A Light Of Some Kind I would like to preface this entry with a simple request, which does not feel so simple. If you can possible avoid it, do not insult or disparage Emily in front of me. You are…
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“Is that a vial of Melanie’s blood around your neck?” my father asks, having seen the dark garnet pendant Melanie lent me as a memento while she is away. From this simple question, I think several things in quick succession….
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I tell Hannah that I consider James an accessory to her, not an entity in himself. They are having issues. She is not sure how to take his uncertainty, if this will be a bump in their relationship or the…
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Melanie says meeting me made her stop believing in the idea of a one true love. She’d spent four months prior sighing over her first serious boyfriend, Kevin. When she began speaking with me, her mooning waned. Even before she…
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September 9, 2015 Marriage and Divorce
I didn’t used to much care about the religion of the person kissing me-as long as their faith didn’t preclude more kisses. The interim when I kissed Keilaina was so brief because I could only claim an intellectual interest in…
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Use Your Disillusion Emily talks about how I plainly saw this all coming. It is more than possible that I did not let myself see the truth, though she did not help. A potent warning sign, one friends and family…
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Hello, My Future Girlfriend I don’t want a relationship. I am sorry, but I am just not ready. I would not want to inflict myself upon you like this, I like you too much for that, though I don’t know…
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I hate with a startling passion you emotional conmen (and women) that seem to infest most every life. You make overwrought confessions where each adjective is run through a thesaurus twice in an effort to show how repentant you are,…
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This Beautiful Agony Sarah the Vet Tech and I go to the Dia Museum, if just to give ourselves something a bit more active to do than sit and talk. (I am rapidly running out of clever stories to tell…
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Things I’ve learned from this breakup: * I am stronger than I thought, or much more capable to repress and deny. The jury isn’t really in on this, but I am living my life as best I can because I…
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October 17, 2014 Friends and Peers
On the roof of the loft – the flat an ever-changing collection of Dan Kessler’s friends occupy – he sings a song about one of the occupants with whom he is developing a romantic attachment. I have trouble listening to…
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October 14, 2014 Marriage and Divorce
I would like to be able to tell you that I don’t think much about Emily, that the thoughts no longer sting. It has been a bit over four months, after a relationship that lasted more than seven years. But…
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As I stand in the common area at my school and watch teenagers indulge in adolescent drama, a very adult drama in the form of a pretty blonde woman descends the hill toward me. My stomach drops, as Emily doesn’t…
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Edwin Hubble, the namesake of the telescope and discoverer of the constant, told people he practiced law in Kentucky when he was actually a high school teacher (though duly certified by the bar). He pretended at Britishness (with the orotund…
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I don’t notice anything amiss as I enter Dan’s room. I settle next to Stephanie and begin making faces at her cat (previously known as Mushka but now rechristened Kitten in lieu of a full name no one seems to…
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