We all know them. They are in many families and in most organizations. They are the ones who subtly and not quite overtly cause problems and create a negative drag on projects. They are the ones who don’t speak up…
Read more
The Bible tells us, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” Truly it is best to leave it up to him. Holding those feelings brings much more damage to your life and your soul than to the person with who you…
Read more
What do fish and company have in common? After three days they begin to stink. So goes the proverbial advice about not over staying your welcome. These kinds of sayings are meant to be broad statements. With some friends and…
Read more
Every family has its tensions. Some are more dysfunctional than others. However, if we are honest, everyone comes from a dysfunctional family. It’s just a matter of degree. Size is also not necessarily the main problem. Families with just a…
Read more
When conflicts arise in families it seems different from conflicts in other parts of our lives. This is true because the emotions are more intense and the stakes are higher. As the old saying goes, “You get to choose your…
Read more
You can’t fix it. Get that through your head. If you start there then your support will be more helpful. The next thing is to understand there are a variety of reasons for depression. Sometimes it is existential. Depressing things…
Read more
If you are like me, your first reaction to this plea for help is fear. It’s a seemingly no win situation. I mean, “been there, done that, swallowed the T-shirt!” However, on second thought, after taking a deep breath there…
Read more
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist by choice (as in significant other) you have to ask yourself why you love this person? By definition with a narcissist it is all about them and never about you. So…
Read more
There is control and there is Control! If your partner is interfering with your individual choices and restricting your freedom you may have a serious problem. You may need to break off the relationship. You probably ought to seek professional…
Read more
Jesus said, “Let your light so shine before men that they might see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” He was talking about behavior and not about words. This is true in all areas of…
Read more
From time to time friends, acquaintances, bosses, or family invite us to participate in various events. Often we are more than happy, interested, or even eager to attend. Yet on other occasions we would rather not. The reasons are probably…
Read more
March 28, 2014 Friends and Peers
Relationships go through cycles just like small groups. The common wisdom says there are predictable stages for groups: Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing. One can see similar parterns in friendships. As in marriages there is a honeymoon of sorts. A sort…
Read more
March 26, 2014 Friends and Peers
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 Some of us have only a few close friends while others have many acquaintances yet few close friends. Among…
Read more
March 23, 2014 Marriage and Divorce
WWW.Divorcerate.org tells us that approximately 50% of all first marriages in the US end in divorce. We don’t seem to learn much from the experience as nearly 60% of second marriages don’t make it and 74% of third marriages are…
Read more
We all make mistakes. Sooner or later we do or don’t something that hurts a person or persons who are important to us. How can we make it right; mend the relationship and get back on track? The first thing…
Read more
No one and no family is perfect. Simply put, if you are part of a family yours is dysfunctional. It’s a continuum. Some families are more functional than others. If something or some group works it “functions.” Families that “dys”,…
Read more
February 16, 2014 Communication
Long lasting relationships are based upon more than sex. Good sex, even great sex doesn’t last forever in a relationship. In fact without communication even sex fades quickly. You have to share, either verbally or nonverbally what you like. You…
Read more
February 16, 2014 Communication
The Women’s Liberation Movement has caused confusion for men about how to treat women. Many boys are never taught how to be courteous and polite. The days of Emily Post may seem way out of fashion. However, the 16th edition…
Read more
February 9, 2014 Communication
There are a number of different kinds of tough situations that might cause a person to “lose their cool.” What is stressful for you might not be stressful for me and vice versa. Some tough situations can be anticipated and…
Read more
December 12, 2013 Communication
Are you desperately looking for the magical cure? You are not alone. There has been a generation gap as long as children have grown into teens. Your best bet for getting through these years is to nurture a sense of…
Read more
December 12, 2013 Communication
Sometimes we wish that life could just run smoothly along without any interpersonal difficulties. However, this is not the way it is. Disagreements are a part of life and relationships. However, disagreements, even those that lead to arguments, do not…
Read more
December 12, 2013 Communication
For years I kept a poster in my office with the picture of a sad orangutan. It said, “I know you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure that you realize that what you heard is not…
Read more
October 23, 2013 Communication
Imagine a brass fanfare! Ta Ta Ta Taaah! The best couples’ communication information out there is by PREPinc.com. Stanley and Markman along with other researches in Denver have the best stuff, bar none. At the very least check out their…
Read more
October 23, 2013 Communication
Reality check! Every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be times when you think and feel as one. There will be time when it seems like you are disagreeing about everything. However, it is possible to have disagreements…
Read more
October 22, 2013 Communication
When you get sick, when you have pain and discomfort, the first thing you think you want is a pill. “Doc give me something to make this go away.” When you need surgery your priority is for a doctor with…
Read more
October 22, 2013 Communication
Most of us would like to fit in, be accepted, liked, and even, at least from time to time, be the center of attention. What can we do to become more interesting to others and be that person others seek…
Read more
September 24, 2013 Communication
Have you noticed your partner, spouse, or significant other turning green? Are they asking questions about where you have been? Are they calling in the middle of the day and it seems like they are checking up on you? Jealousy…
Read more
September 23, 2013 Communication
The best advice I ever found for dealing with teens was: Stay connected, Stay Safe, Stay Respectful. How much more true this is when we are talking about our mates! This is the person with whom you have decided to…
Read more
September 14, 2013 Friends and Peers
Many people work in situations where a little improvement in morale would be a welcome change. As the prayer of St. Francis suggests a good place to start is “let it begin with me.” Another “tried and true” expression gives…
Read more
September 7, 2013 Communication
There is no way to go through life without disagreements. If you disagree with me on this you have proved the point! That was not the most respectful way to tell you. I’m sure you are sincere in your belief…
Read more