Girls come in all sizes and shapes, some have flawless bodies, and most don’t. The important thing about a woman’s body is not how it looks, but her perception of how she looks.
Our world is a beauty conscious, thin-crazy, media-driven place where we are bombarded daily with images of extraordinary, almost surreal, people. Paper-thin models encourage a look that is unhealthy and not attractive. I’m not advocating we all add 50 pounds, but in order for girls to feel good about themselves they should not worry about maintaining a weight that is so unrealistic.
Skinny has not always been admired, nor thought to be the ideal. It was not always fashionable in the past. In Renaissance times, times of the great masters of art, the ideal of beauty was fleshy. Showing a teen girl today a photo of a plump, cherubic lady sporting an abundance of curves and an excess of flesh does not do it. That artistic ideal is old-fashioned by everyone’s standards. Today’s girls cannot identify with those women when plump equaled beautiful.
These teens today are more likely to identify with the 1920’s flapper who took drastic steps to look sleek. This included cutting hair short and boyish and pulling the chest in to look flatter. This may be the woman they can identify with since she ventured into daring feats, politics, education, and sports previously considered a man’s world. She was a rebel who smoked cigarettes, wore slacks, and drove wild. She tried to better herself, her image, and her life although some of her methods were not too sound. She became more of an individual than her Victorian sister. She was no longer completely sheltered or managed by a man.
Women have yo-yoed back and forth in their search for their own style and their freedom to dress as they wish. During the depression women lost ground in this area because of duties at home. They were just trying to survive and their appearance and health suffered along with their independence.
The wartime years saw a need for manpower. Women’s talent came back out to center stage and along with it a new look. Women found they could support themselves if necessary and were able to help the war-effort. They could hold down a man’s job. They gained independence. Whenever women take on the world and do not allow someone or some circumstance to determine their life, their look reflects it. They changed their image from dowdy to fashionable. They became very individual and they also dressed in what they liked.
We took a step backward in the 50’s when we went back into the homes. Our only audience was hubby now, not the world. We traded fashion for function, but were definitely dressing for our man. The style we liked did not appear in our wardrobes since the male dictated style. Along with a more subordinate role toward men, we developed the habit of following others choices in style. We no longer worried about being all we could be, but we followed the dictates of fashion as though they were hard and fast rules.
Image dictated by others takes away freedom and is harmful. It buries your individuality. Women of all ages must view their look as their own. Style consists of how we dress, act, and what we put together for our own look. Fashion would have us all jump on the bandwagon and be carbon copies. Where is the uniqueness we all possess?
Teens tend to follow this trend, since peer pressure dictates what they wear. Then we develop a habit early on that accepts others setting the style for us. Designers say, wear this, we meekly ask in what color. The style setters say skirts are short almost exposing your bottom, we say okay. Next year, it changes and this time they want us tripping on our skirts. They add shoes that pinch, are sky-high, or look like aliens made them. They add fish lure earrings and a trendy belt in neon pink. Okay they say, now you are stylish. You, however, feel ridiculous and are still wondering why you spent your entire clothes budget on a pair of trendy shoes you hate.
Our personalities are different and require each of us to develop our own style. If the pink neon belt is really you- wear it, but because you love it, not because someone told you to wear one.
Your comfort level with who you are is one of the most important things you can gain. When we can truly accept ourselves and not attempt to duplicate the currently popular notion of how we should look, we will obtain freedom.
Teens need to set goals for themselves that address their entire whole selves, not just how they look. They must learn how to become a total person. We are not our bodies, our hair, or our thighs. We are a total person made up of many components. They need to care as much about their minds as their make-up and their health as their looks. Their goals must include getting a great education not just getting a husband. They must pamper themselves, not because we are weak, but because we do so much and give so much of ourselves everyday. Pampering is necessary to enjoy life, but not because it will make us fit someone else’s ideal. Parents, your job is to promote healthy bodies in young ladies. Show them the wonder of a rich life with a lifestyle that doesn’t focus on looks and sexual appeal. Instead of showing girls how to look sexy, show them how to obtain that healthy glow. Let’s nourish their minds, bodies, and spirits so they live well, not just look good.
We know the rage for thinness has resulted in much dissatisfaction with body image and a number of girls are suffering from anorexia or bulimia. Very overweight teenaged girls need lots of extra care. They must be presented with a program that helps them lose dangerous weight, but builds up their self-esteem more because they met a goal than lost a pound. We need to concentrate on the beautiful person inside whether they are overweight or not.
Changing perceptions is most important since how teenagers see themselves means everything affecting their social life, education, and future. How a person dresses because of these perceptions may effect whether or not she is a success. The perception is more important than reality.
Help your overweight young lady find a look she likes while trying to work off all those pounds. Show her how to dress, accessorize, and make the most of her other assets. Every woman has assets. Physical assets can distract from our less than perfect ones. More important is your personality and the fact you concentrate on health first, beauty second. Show girls how to prioritize. When we start with inner goodness, the person inside, we can help the teen develop high self-esteem long before we get to the outside shell we call a body. They learn to accept the person they are, with all their individual traits and aspects of their personality.
Being happy with who you are is tough. When the world constantly says, you are not good enough because you are overweight or have less than an ideal body. But remember, who decided the current trend, the ideal body- certainly, not women.
Women would wear comfortable clothes. Sensible though pretty shoes would be popular. Reasonable length skirts would be worn if we thought men would not be unhappy. We have learned to dress to attract men’s favorable comments. We worry if we dress, as we like, men would not like us. How sad! Women take control of your lives and appearance. We need to be free to be us.
Women, you don’t want to hear about personality, you think it’s a myth. You say men do not date because of personality. You are partially right, more the pity. They should date for the right reasons. It is still possible to find mates that last a lifetime and these are the ones who care about a good personality. These become husbands who love you for who you are, not how you look, or what you wear. These are the only men worth having, so why worry about the others.
Every woman can use her sexuality to get ahead and get a man or she can choose to use her skills to become successful. A woman who learns to be a whole person will always have the ability to succeed and survive. After all, beauty is skin-deep and fades with age. Then what do you have if that was your only ace in the hole? Don’t bank on it being your big ticket to happiness. Hone your skills, develop a healthy, individual style, and work on your personality to have a fuller richer life. And don’t forget to love yourself too, because you are special.
