Would you consider a 21 year old to be old, or still youthful?
Q. I’m 20 and will be 21 in september. I know I’ll be 18 in my heart for a while but, sometimes I feel like I don’t wanna be 21. I feel so old, like i’m not young anymore and I get really depressed. A lot of people tell me that the 20s and college years are the best and 21 is when the real fun actually starts. Is this true? Would you consider 20s to still be youthful and young? I’m kinda scared to actually get in my 20s.
A. What a sad and discouraging perspective to have of life. :o(
You are blessed with a life, you are at the exciting start of that life where the world is your oyster. And what do you do? You sit and fret it away and worry about getting old! How on earth can you worry about ageing at 20? So when you are 60, as I am (if you ever reach that with so much worry!), what will you do? What will you call yourself then? Ancient? Fossil? Sorry, but that is an ungrateful way to live. If you really consider the 20s to be ‘old’, what do you call the other decades?
In case you do not know, let me count your blessings for you. 22% of youngsters do not even make it to 15 years old, let alone 21. So you are very fortunate. At this age of your life, depending on the country you are in, you can expect to live until your are 75, on average, and even up to 83. You have all the technology at your fingertips (98% of students are on email); you can choose any educational course that you want, invent what you want, like the Google founders who were early 20s when they started, launch a business, do a degree, anything at all you like. The provisions are already in place for people of your age. Not to mention youthful looks and tons of opportunities ahead.
You say you’re ‘scared’ to go into your 20s. What are you going to do about it? Stop the next bus and go under it? Stop your body clock? I am being very blunt here because I want to show you how foolish and sad those thoughts are. When people are scared of ageing and death they simply rob themselves of a life thinking about them continually. Life comes with both good and bad, pleasure and pain, up and down. We have no choice but to accept them and make the most of them. When we are given that precious life (19 youngsters all under 21 have been stabbed in Britain since January so there is no guarantee of life) we have to live it to the full because worrying robs us of any kind of life quality. Furthermore, if every youngster of your age in the past had been scared of getting older, we would not have had the amazing inventions like computers and Internet we now enjoy. They would have been too scared to invent anything. Thankfully, they concentrated on what they could make with their life instead of just worrying about it and we are all benefitting now. What will your contribution be? Just fretting about your age?
I believe your fears relate to something else in your life. You obviously lack confidence, lack the belief in yourself and dread the onset of the adult stage of your existence. You fear getting older perhaps because of the responsibilities it brings, the expectations of you or the isolation and exclusion from current friends and family that it might entail. Perhaps you need to sort out those feelings about you personally and you will find that the age fears will also lessen. You will find more courage to appreciate your life. Growing up is inevitable, but growing older is an option. Age does NOT make you older, It’s the thoughts you carry around that make you either sad or joyful, youthful or ancient, like the ones you are having now. You can be forever 18 if you like, or 81, depending on those thoughts.
Instead of worrying about your age, which you can do nothing about, start giving thanks for everything you have, everything you are blessed with that tons of teenagers around the world only dream of, and being thankful that you are healthy enough to enjoy those blessings. Give thanks for being capable of carving your own future at any time you want, instead of taking everything around you for granted and living in fear. I guarantee that living a life of gratitude and getting some confidence in who you are, what you wish to be and where you are heading would help you to not only appreciate your unique existence, but you would begin to see your life in a completely different light.
One final thought to help you on your way. If your parents were afraid of being adults, afraid of getting on with their lives and just wanted to be stuck at 18, you would not be here now. Please give thanks, stop worrying and start to live your life in a more meaningful way. You will be far happier and more fulfilled for it.
