There is absolutely no doubt that unidentified flying objects, more widely known as UFOs, exist, and anyone who tells you otherwise has not taken the time to think on the subject. How can I say this, I hear you doubters ask? How can I, an educated, intelligent, charming (okay, stay away from X-Files fantasies here) and due-paying skeptic stand proudly and say that UFOs exist? Easily. All you have to do is look out the window to see the proof.
I don’t know when I saw my first UFO. Certainly it was before I needed glasses. I think maybe it was when I was 6 or 7, playing outside with my brother just as the sun went down one balmy summer evening (twilight is the perfect time for seeing UFOs, by the way, but of course any real UFO spotters will know that). I was playing in the grass while my brother kicked a ball around, and I saw it. Up in the sky, a strange round object. Then I got hit in the head with my brother’s basketball.
I can’t say that UFO-spotting has become a hobby since then, but it certainly seems to happen to me a lot. I don’t mean the whole little green men abducting me and conducting gruesome tests in some alien lab thing the people who report such events obviously need serious psychological help and less late-night TV. No, I just see the UFOs, flying somewhere in the sky. It’s uncanny.
Of course, I see fewer UFOs now that I have swapped from regular glasses to using disposable contact lenses. Let me tell you, when I had to wear glasses I spotted UFOs constantly not to mention UMOs*, USSOs* and BIBINSOs^. It didn’t help that I would frequently have my glasses fall off, I can tell you. After I had accidentally trodden on my glasses a few times I had almost hourly UFO sightings, but they mostly turned out to be scratches on the lenses which teased at my peripheral vision.
Being a non-sports person also increases my UFO sighting rate. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve walked past the TV while a game is on and had to ask, ‘What’s that?’ My experience even extends to spotting indoor UFOs once a bird got trapped in the house and I still don’t know if it was a crow or a raven. It’s amazing.
Spotting unidentified flying objects doesn’t take any special skill or belief, and any debate over their existence is laughable. As you can see with my experiences, all you have to do is not know what the bananas it is that is flying through the air. It’s all a matter of semantics.
People who believe that they have spotted an unidentifiable or alien object, however, are a whole other question, and the fact that they are apparently unable to distinguish between a descriptive term and a label tells you all you need to know about their general level of intelligence.
*Unidentified moving objects
*Unidentified standing-stationary objects
^Barely-identifiable-but-I’m-not-sure objects
