I often wonder how many people who write articles on depression, have had first hand experiences of this awful, dark, lonely frame of mind. “Professional” people draw their conclusions mainly on second hand information. They have studied the works of past masters of psychology and blended their findings with present day ideas in the vain hope of finding the cure for depression that will secure them a place in medical history.
One of the most suggested causes of depression is bad childhood experiences,beaten by father,lacking motherly love, verbal and physical abuse at the hands of another relative or so called friend of the family etc, etc.
Depression is not about past life experiences. It is firmly rooted in the here and now and it is not about other people, it is about the self. There is no one specific cause of depression and certainly no one cure. What works for some, does exactly the opposite for others.
A common dream we all share is to win the lottery and live happily ever after. As common sense dictates, in the real world we have to work for what we want. Most of us just want to be comfortably secure and that is what we aim for in life. From the average man’s point of view, it is about working hard to provide for the future,for the benefit of loved ones.
plodding through life with self belief that your efforts will come to fruition. Little hurdles sometimes appear which can be dealt with fairly easily but sometimes events take over which are out of your control.
Changes in laws, regulations, increased taxation and the pressure of increased costs of living, decline in health etc, starts to eat away at you confidence. Even though it is circumstances beyond your control things can soon erode away your sense of worth. As more things start to go wrong you begin looking for someone to blame. The eventual target ends up being yourself. Doubts, fears and frustration start to escalate to a point where you become angry and start to lash out at anyone and everyone around you. The downward spiral continues and in order not to keep hurting the loved ones around you, all the anger is targeted at yourself. This drives you into a deep dark storm filled state of mind where it becomes impossible to escape from. Doctors throw pills at you to try and give you a lift that you so desperately need but nothing happens instantly.
You accept that you should not be feeling like that but can’t find the strength to help yourself. Events in your life become so blurred that it is difficult to remember when or where or how things got to this stage.
The best cure for this pitiful situation is believe it or not, a kick up the backside, by someone who loves you so much that they drag you kicking and screaming back to reality by showing you the little rays of sunshine that are the light in your life. Your children and grandchildren, who need you and deserve to have you in their lives. That is when the pills and the love start to work and although you remain very fragile, you find your sense of purpose again.
If ever you need to raise a smile then what better way of doing so, than to learn how to make balloon animals, get dressed up as a clown and see the joy on the face of your granddaughter as you entertain her friends at her birthday party. Remember the pride in her eyes as she whispers to all her friends that the clown is really her granddad That one snapshot of life will be enough to carry you through any more bad times in your life.
There is no right or wrong approach for dealing with depression as each sufferer is an individual, who’s cause and cure is unique,usually to them and them alone.
