How to Challenge the Thinking Process of a Criminal Thinker
In a past article, How to Identify a Criminal Thinker?, it was noted that criminal thinker’s are special and unique individuals as well as clever masters of deceit. But, ironically, they can be expected to act and react in a similar manner..
Identified below are a number of typical statements you may expect from a criminal thinker or irresponsible adult. Recommendations of the most practical, effective ways for you to respond follow. Be prepared to respond to every statement to challenge the person to change his thinking and accept personal responsibility for his choices and behavior. Note that several of your responses may be used repeatedly with different reactions. Also, for the sake of convenience, I’ve used the masculine terms he, his, him, etc.
WHEN HE:
Tells you why he should not be held accountable for his choices that led to the particular mess he is in.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Do not discuss whys of the issue. Tell him that rationalizations are irrelevant and another way of avoiding the problem.
Give him examples of his faulty logic and show him how to change his behavior.
Keep the focus and discussion on the real issue: his irresponsible choices.
WHEN HE:
Insists that he has rights, not responsibilities, and his rights are always being violated.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Do not discuss whys of the issue. Tell him that rationalizations are irrelevant and another way of avoiding the problem.
Give him examples of his faulty logic and show him how to change his behavior.
Keep the focus and discussion on the real issue: his irresponsible choices.
WHEN HE:
Thinks he is different and better than others.
YOU:
Discuss why his logic doesn’t make sense.
Give him examples of his faulty logic and show him how to change his behavior.
Help him examine his assumptions and understand how they defy the facts.
Keep the focus and discussion on the real issue: his irresponsible choices.
WHEN HE:
Bases his decisions on assumptions, not facts.
YOU:
Discuss why his logic doesn’t make sense.
Help him examine his assumptions and understand how they defy the facts.
Help him understand the facts.
WHEN HE:
Uses and possesses people and objects.
YOU:
Call attention to his attempts to use you and others by saying, “I don’t like when you try to manipulate me.” Then explain that you know when you’re being used.
Tell him when he is using control and manipulation over others.
Point out the differences between legitimate control and persuasion as opposed to manipulation and exploitation.
Reverse the circumstances and ask him how he would feel if treated this way.
WHEN HE:
Fakes dependence to take advantage of a person or situation.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Tell him when he is using control and manipulation over others.
Call attention to his attempts to use you and others by saying, “I don’t like when you try to manipulate me.” Then explain that you know when you’re being used.
Keep the focus and discussion on the real issue: his irresponsible choices.
WHEN HE:
Practices denial and uses a myriad of defense mechanisms such as projection, rationalization, minimization and blame to explain and excuse his behavior.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Discuss why his logic doesn’t make sense.
Do not discuss why’s of the issue. Tell him that rationalizations are irrelevant and another way for him to avoid the problem.
Keep the focus and discussion on the real issue: his irresponsible choices.
WHEN HE:
Is vague, silent and secretive, believing power exists in secrecy.
YOU:
Give him examples of his faulty logic and show him how to change his behavior.
Describe how he uses his selective memory and is able to remember only what he wants.
Tell him when he is using control and manipulation over others.
Call attention to his attempts to use you and others by saying, “I don’t like when you try to manipulate me.” Then explain that you know when you’re being used.
WHEN HE:
Blames others and society for her predicament and claims he’s a helpless, innocent victim.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Do not discuss whys of the issue. Tell him that rationalizations are irrelevant and another way for him to avoid the problem.
Give him examples of his faulty logic and show him how to change his behavior.
Keep the focus and discussion on the real issue: his irresponsible choices.
WHEN HE:
Resists recommendations for work, school or any other normal tasks and functions because they bore him.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Do not accept unreasonable “I can’t” statements. Often “I can’t” means “I won’t” or “I don’t want to.”
Explain that making an effort sometimes means doing what you don’t want to do.
Point out that he usually has more than enough energy to do what he wants to do.
In a non-threatening manner, explain that negative consequences may result from lack of effort.
WHEN HE:
Says “I can’t” which otherwise means that he won’t.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Do not accept “I can’t” statements. Understand that “I can’t” means “I won’t” and usually involves doing what he does not feel like doing.
Explain that making an effort sometimes means doing what you don’t want to do.
Point out that he usually has more than enough energy to do what he wants to do.
WHEN HE:
Expects immediate success.
YOU:
Ask him to identify his expectations.
Discuss why his logic doesn’t make sense.
Help him examine his assumptions and understand how they defy the facts.
Teach him that success usually doesn’t happen overnight.
Point out that immediate decisions may not work as planned.
Use examples to show him that we all make mistakes but we can learn from them. Describe it as trial by error.
In a constructive way, help him accept the disappointment of failure
WHEN HE:
Quits at the first sign of failure.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Point out that effort sometimes means doing what you don’t want to do.
Point out that he has plenty of energy for things that he wants to do.
In a non-threatening manner, explain that negative consequences may result from lack of effort.
Use examples to show him that we all make mistakes but we can learn from them. Describe it as trial by error.
WHEN HE:
Expects others to immediately respond to his demands.
YOU:
Give him examples of his faulty logic and show him how to change his behavior.
Tell him when he is using control and manipulation over others.
Call attention to his attempts to use you and others by saying, “I don’t like when you try to manipulate me.” Then explain that you know when you’re being used.
WHEN HE:
Has a compelling need to be in control of every situation.
YOU:
Give him examples of his faulty and show him how to change his behavior.
Tell him when he is using control and manipulation over others.
Call attention to his attempts to use you and others by saying, “I don’t like when you try to manipulate me.” Then explain that you know when you’re being used.
Point out the differences between legitimate control and persuasion as opposed to manipulation and exploitation.
WHEN HE:
Uses manipulation and deceit.
YOU:
Give him examples of his faulty logic and show him how to change his behavior.
Tell him when he is using control and manipulation over others.
Call attention to his attempts to use you and others by saying, “I don’t like when you try to manipulate me.” Then explain that you know when you’re being used.
WHEN HE:
Appears not to listen or believes you’re wasting his time.
YOU:
Tell him when he is using control and manipulation over others.
Call attention to his attempts to use you and others by saying, “I don’t like when you try to manipulate me.” Then explain that you know when you’re being used.
Point out the differences between legitimate control and persuasion as opposed to manipulation and exploitation.
Keep the focus and discussion on the real issue: his irresponsible choices.
WHEN HE:
Will not consider doing what is expected.
YOU:
Listen to reasonable explanations, but accept no excuses.
Point that out he has plenty of energy for things that he wants to do.
In a non-threatening manner, explain that negative consequences may result from no effort.
Do not accept “I can’t” statements. Understand that “I can’t” means “I won’t” and usually involves doing what he does not feel like doing.
Although this intervention and resolution process is not absolutely guaranteed to work, people don’t usually like to lose get out foxed. Neither do criminal thinkers or irresponsible adults. Ironically, you might try the process with a irresponsible young person in your family or classroom. Be prepared to respond to every statement to challenge the person to change his thinking and accept personal responsibility for his choices and behavior.
