Last night I was ready to call Macy’s and order $400 worth of confidence. Then, browsing the paper, I noticed J.C. Penney’s offered a 40% discount. I called Penney’s.
Are you shaking your head wondering what I’ve been smoking? Of course, we can’t purchase confidence. In corporate workshops I facilitate related to business presentation skills, I ask participants how confidence is developed. The connection is established that the prerequisite of instilling confidence is to risk the outcome. We gain from risk taking in the following ways: 1) We succeed and begin to strengthen base of confidence 2) We learn from the wrong approach and confidently change tactics.
With success and achievement, we build a psychological as well as a practical file to draw upon. However, success is frequently subject to external conditions. Example: I can teach the same lesson to two classes. The first class is great and I falsely believe I’m doing great. In the next class, the kids simply do not care and I feel like a failure.
Point to consider: Keep experiences in perspective, understanding that confidence is not based on external circumstances. At best, these circumstances are not solid or permanent. At worst, we cling to the ego when addicted top results.
Suggestion: With instilling confidence, live from the inside out countering desire and drive with balance and tranquility. We minimize roller coast shifts when living form the inside out. Confidence is not based on what we do, but rather on who we are. This is irreversible confidence requiring comfort ion our own skin.
Consider the following question: How would you adjust if the cell phone and other gadgets of escape were taken away? Are you to enjoy peace in solitude? Your honest answers will determine your level of confidence. Comfort leads to being grounded. With no need to be the center of attention, we create positive energy and others gain confidence in us.
Irreversible confidence also requires an appreciation for life. People with irreversible confidence are less inclined to avoid judging and criticizing. In our society, it is difficult not to judge. When we do, we fall victim to the three C’s of joy avoidance: convict, criticize and compare. Author Charlotte Joko Beck said: ” Joy is what’s happening right now minus our opinion of it”.
People practicing irreversible confidence meet others and conditions for what they are. By refusing to blame or escape, they find joy in all experiences. These role models of confidence celebrate reality with the fresh eyes of a beginner. Suggestion: Perform each task as if it were the first time. Meet the world for what it is and experience the joys of confidence!
